Bon Anniversaire

They say it's my birthday

Okay, I'm super behind on this one. I apologize...I haven't really felt like writing lately. In truth, I've been obsessed with reading Helter Skelter. It's the story of the Charles Manson trial and it's some craaaazy stuff. 

I'm happy to report that I was completely wrong about my birthday this year. 
My desk was decorated before I got to work in the morning, and my boss had left me some treats. There were lots of happy birthday wishes and love. After work, Foxx got a group together to go for a drink. (I've come to a conclusion about him: he really can be a good guy. But a lot of the time he's kind of performing, like he has to have all attention on him. I absolutely can't stand that, and to me it seems desperate, like he needs an ego boost that badly.) 

My mom made dinner and a cake, like usual. It was pretty low-key, which is exactly what I wanted. There were a couple of points that were really fantastic. 

The first one needs back-story: 
One Sunday, really probably about a year ago, my dad walked in wearing a (I thought) very outdated shirt. Oh also, I sing in the choir which is up by the altar so I can see people coming in. I walked up and told him that I'd just gotten a very important phone call; it was the 80s and they wanted their shirt back. I guess he was pretty embarrassed, which I hadn't meant to do, but he played it off well. Not long after that, I walked into my bathroom in the morning to find the shirt hanging on the mirror. We went back and forth basically playing hide-and-seek with the shirt. The last move had been mine--way back in February. My parents had gone on a Caribbean cruise and I hid the shirt in his snorkeling gear. I guess it was pretty funny as he was hanging out on a tropical beach and pulled that bad boy out. Since that happened almost a year ago, I'd completely forgotten about it. 

I knew I was getting a Nook for my birthday. My mom pulled out a giant box, so I expected boxes inside of boxes. I kind of joked about it and she told me that I might be mistaken, they may have gotten me something else. I opened the box and wasn't surprised to find another one, and played into the joke. There were three or four boxes and finally, when I got to the end, I found my Nook wrapped up in the shirt. I laughed so hard I started crying. 

Earlier in the day, Lindbergh had sent a picture of a gift bag with the caption "Hmm...I wonder what that could be" Naturally, my reply was "A PONY!!!" 
He was invited to dinner and, the roads being pretty crappy, got there late. It also meant he didn't have time to stop by his place and get my present. I really didn't care, I'd already had a great day and it was continuing wonderfully. We all had dinner, and Lindbergh and I just hung out for a while. He was getting ready to leave, and paused while putting on his coat. He said he hadn't wanted to come empty handed, and pulled a little pink stuffed pony out of his pocket. 
So...I really did get a pony!

Maybe this is a sign of things to come, that this year will be good. I have lots of people gunning for me meeting a handsome, wonderful, wealthy man while I'm in Paris. I'm not holding my breath, but it'd be fantastic. Oh wait, no, I've already decided that it's going to happen and it's going to be Henry Cavill. Henry, are you listening?!

Birthday Greatest Hits

Presents, Cake, Richard Cranium. 

I have a love-hate relationship with my birthday. It seems that when I try to make plans, they're ruined and I'm left very disappointed. Because of that, I've learned to not bother making plans. This information gets really weird when someone asks what you're doing for your birthday. It sounds sad and pathetic, and sometimes they feel the need to make it better. That just makes me feel awkward...in all truth, I'd kind of rather lay in bed for my birthday, enjoying laziness and receiving birthday greetings on the Facebook. Well that just sounds sadder and patheticker. 

As with most things in life, I didn't just wake up one day and decide to hate my birthday. I've had some really crappy birthdays. So, let's visit them. 

The most recent one (a few years ago) happened when I was dating Redneck. If you read the blog when I had it up before, you know what a gem he was. 
My birthday must have been on a Friday or Saturday; I remember it being on the weekend. He lived a couple of hours away, and all I asked for was for him to come into town and hang out with some of my friends, whom he hadn't met. Well, he started talking about some big surprise and how he'd outdone himself. I got so excited, thinking it was going to be an amazing birthday. The big gift was that he sent me half a dozen roses at work. They were very pretty and it was very sweet, but didn't live up to the hype. Well, alright. 
He then decided he couldn't come into town because the roads weren't great and he had exams the next week. I will admit that I became stubborn, whiny, and childlike at this point. I do somewhat feel that it was deserving though, all I asked was for him to come visit. His "compromise" (which I repeatedly tried to explain isn't how compromise works) was to meet halfway for dinner. So we each drove an hour (each way) for a shitty murder mystery dinner in the basement of a Brann's. Explain to me how the roads were too bad for him to drive the two hours into town, but were okay for him to drive two hours halfway and back? 
Eh, I guess my birthday was that Sunday; I remember my parents taking me to brunch. They're the best and they always make it better. 

Going quite a bit farther back (I don't remember which birthday...I was out of high school though), we meet up with Norm. I saw in a movie once that snooty rich people called the little people Norm (normal) and, since this guy obviously wasn't important enough for me to remember much about him, he's Norm(al). Yup, I'll be the snooty bitch. 
Alright. Norm lived a couple hours away. (Looks like that's a trend...I am so weird!) He was coming to my home for the weekend...except he didn't have a car. So I drove 2 hours on Friday to pick him up and spent the night because he wanted to party. We came back Saturday and I had to work; he slept. (Uh, really. Wtf is wrong with me?) We went to a different city for dinner with one sister, then went to a play that another sister was in. It was Rocky Horror Picture Show. In hindsight, that might not have been the wisest choice. On the other hand...if you can't handle that, I want nothing to do with you. I wash my  hands, and a pox upon your family! 
That all was Saturday night, I had to sing at church on Sunday. But he decided, REALLY decided, that he HAD to be back that night. So he demanded that I drive him back two hours. We got there at 2 in the morning and he proceeded to break up with me. Umm...how did I not see that coming? I asked if I could just stay and sleep for a while; there was no way I was going to be able to make a 2 hour drive back. Luckily, my brother lived there and I was able to find his apartment and he saved me. 

Next we have my 21st birthday. My actual birthday consisted of a lot of shots with some weirdo trying to make out with me after I'd puked. Yuck, guy! Then I had a final exam the next morning. I made it through, but that wasn't fun. 
One of my friends from high school was a girl I spent a lot of time with during that year of college. We used to go dancing at one bar that always had a drawing for a VIP night. I won it right around the time of my 21st. I told her about it kind of laughingly, and said I wasn't going to do it. It was kind of a no-brainer: I've never been super popular, and I wouldn't really know what to do with something like that. She insisted that I was being ridiculous; this was the perfect opportunity for my 21st birthday and it would be a ton of fun. Well, she talked me into it. I figured that I might as well do it...if nothing else, I'd have my friend with me. 
NOPE. She talked me into doing it, I invited a bunch of people...and our football team was in some tournament. My friend's response was that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to go...because apparently I was going to turn 21 again. I'm still waiting for that...
So, it ended up being me and 2 of my sisters. I was completely humiliated and glaringly reminded of how insignificant I am. Ugh, even thinking about it makes my skin crawl. 

Well, when I started this one I intended to just talk about the past. 

I was working on making my birthday treat for work tomorrow (I cooked! It's a big deal!) and I got a text from Lindbergh about his crappy day. He said he narrowly missed going to jail, which I tried to be calm about, but really needed an explanation on. His car basically committed suicide, so he'd borrowed one from his dad. Said borrowed car wasn't "legal." (I'm guessing...hoping?...that it was just plates or something, but I was afraid to ask) The good news is he didn't go to jail and, after paying a lot of money, will be able to fix the problem. But...wow. Then he felt that was a good time to tell me he got me a gift for my birthday. Aaaand...cue the Catholic guilt. 
Alright, I know that's not about me. But, really. Just one more thing to worry about.  

So...those are my birthdays. I already don't want to get out of bed. 
I may be getting older, but I'm not so sure I'm getting wiser. 

Lessons I've Learned

Mostly the hard way.

I seem to have a habit of looking back on my life when it's coming up on my birthday. In honor of that, I'll provide you with some of the nuggets of wisdom I've uncovered along the way. 

• Don't trust someone who uses songs to tell you how they feel.
• Exception: if he or she writes you a song. Unless they do that for everyone. Then they're just kind of a music whore. 
• Don't go to work when you're sick. Nobody wants your germs.
• Tell your parents you love them. Right now. Go do it!
• Never turn down free booze.
• This only applies when it's someone you trust. Keep your body a roofie-free zone!
• If you have to initiate conversation every time, the other person probably doesn't really want to talk to you.
• Read books and watch documentaries. Knowledge is power!
• Random compliments to/from strangers can totally make your/their day.
• LISTEN!
• It feels good when you're able to admit when you're wrong.
• Author's Note: Well, that's stupid. This whole thing is an Author's Note. Side Bar? Sure, Side Bar: nobody truly likes being wrong. But when you're able to push back your ego, fear, pride, whatever, and admit you're wrong...it's a beautiful thing.
• Nature is pretty amazing.
• The most versatile word in the English language? Fuck.
• It's really hard to learn a new language when you're old.
• Laughing is the best.
• Politics would be incredible if the whole thing wasn't so dirty and corrupt.
• Thank you notes mean a lot.
• It's good to laugh at yourself. A lot. 
• Sometimes the best thing to do is walk away.
• Classic clothes are way better than trendy ones. But, if you're me, you want them all.
• Don't go home with someone you meet at the bar.
• Fun fact: my parents met in an Officer's Club-a bar-and have been married for almost 40 years)
• It doesn't take any extra energy to be nice.
• Bonus Round: it feels good!
• It's good to forgive your exes...not necessarily to let them back into your life, though.
• Sometimes two people really are better as friends.
• It doesn't matter how much effort you put into a relationship if the other person doesn't match it. (That one goes for friendships, too).
• There's nothing better than feeling loved.
• It helps to dance while you're getting ready for work.
• It's okay to be sad, and it's okay to cry. Just not all the time.
• Sing in the car, even if people stare. They're just jealous of your awesomeness. ...you just have to keep telling yourself that.
• Sometimes the scariest things end up being the coolest. 
• They say not to compare yourself to others, but that's really hard! 
• Besides...who the hell are "they" and what are they on? I want some.
• Nobody knows everything. Everybody hates someone that things they do.
• People say a lot of things to make you feel better about a breakup. None of it works. 
• There are very, VERY few times when "Reply All" needs to be used.
• Some people are just douchebags, straight down to their core.
• Relationships are hard, and life is confusing. But the ride is kinda fun. 

So enjoy my *earth-shattering* tidbits of intelligence. Be nice, laugh at yourself and others, and enjoy your own little ride.