Better

Or something like it

It's been 3 weeks since I saw the new doc. He put me back on more steroids, which seem to be helping. I'm trying to get back into some yoga and light working out so I can feel like less of a blob for Hawaii. (Did I tell you all that we're visiting Hawaii soon? I'm pretty stoked for some sunshine and relaxation. BTW, if you have any good tips for the Big Island, please share.) 

I felt pretty sorry for myself for a while, and angry at the whole situation. I had to talk to so many different people for the new med...the hospital, med reps, nurse ambassador (who I'm pretty sure is Jane Lynch's sister or cousin or something), pharmacy reps, insurance people, and others that I don't even know what they do. It was lucky that we're in a later time zone so I could call them before work, but I got so burned out having to talk to all these people and getting so much information to try and keep straight. I mean I'm still trying to figure it all out.

Anyway I was supposed to get my meds just before Christmas. Luckily I had the day off already but Nurse Ambassador (henceforth known as NA) recommended being with someone just in case I had a reaction...so Soldier took some time off to be with me. We sat around and sat around and...nothing. I got pretty irritated. I thought maybe it was backed up with the holidays, and checked early in the morning, but nada. So, back to the phone. It turned out there was a late flight and it was stuck in Anchorage sooo long story short, I got it like 4 days late. Uh, thanks Alaska.
By the time it came in there was a bit of concern (mostly from me) that it had frozen in transit. There was supposed to be some sort of card or something that told me if it got out of the necessary temperature range, but they weren't there. Real cool. Honestly there was a point in all of this where I just had to kind of laugh, it was a bit of a comedy of errors.

So, the injection pen got to me, that was the big part. Thankfully Soldier was there...I wasn't at all worried about having a reaction, but I wanted to have him there for moral support. The more time I have to think (worry) about something, the more freaked out I get.
I got NA on the phone and got ready to stab myself. Really it might have been better if I had just done it rather than talking through it with her, but it's required for her job...but I'm getting ahead of myself.
I'll cut to the chase. If you've ever seen an EPI pen, that's pretty much what mine looks like. It's spring loaded and just sends the meds right in there. I underestimated it though; the needle is so small that I really didn't expect to feel it a whole lot. Oh also with my swollen and sore hands it was kind of hard to even push the button. That doesn't really add much to it, just that it took longer to even get the injection in since my hands hurt so much.

I finally hit the button. It hurt. It startled me. I pulled the pen away. The needle came out. The meds started spraying on me. Soldier and I gave each other a deer-in-the-headlights look. I closed the pen back over the injection site so some of it might soak in. (I don't know if it works that way at all, but it seemed like a fair idea at the time). We laughed about it afterward.

I do think I got at least a teensy bit of the medicine, and now I know what to expect. On the bad side, I have a small ugly bruise on my tum. I'm guessing I'll get one every time, so that's fun.

I think I'm almost back to being able to wear my rings. As silly as it is, that's been one of the biggest issues for me. I know you're all interested, so I'll be sure to keep you in the loop if anything changes!

Till then, I hope you all have a happy New Year and that your 2018 is magical!

196 Books: Benin

Why Monkeys Live in Trees by Raouf Mama

Benin is another smaller country, this time in Africa:

Summmmarrrry:

This is a book for both young and old lovers of folklore. Why Monkeys Live in Trees and Other Stories from Benin is a rich tapestry of oral tales that come from a wide range of Beninese ethnic groups. They include trickster tales and sacred tales involving the greatest and meanest of mankind, as well as nature and the world of spirits. These ageless tales remind us of the power of love, the perils of greed and pride, and the redemptive virtues of courage, humility, and kindness.

The Western African Republic of Benin (formerly Dahomey) is gifted with a great folktale tradition, one of the richest in the world. As pieces of oral literature and cultural history, these tales shed light on some of the values and beliefs as well as the customs and traditions of the people of Benin.

So one thing I forgot to mention in my last book post (I think) is that, coming across smaller countries, I don't have nearly as much choice in books. So I might have to go with one that wasn't written by a native of that country, or something that doesn't really sound super interesting. That's how I came across the short stories for the last two books. 

The difference? I loved these! They were more like fables or parables than just short stories. Wait, are fables and parables interchangeable? Hmm...not exactly, but apparently this book had both of them. 
Anyway they were super cute and, even though you don't get to "know" the characters so much, they had lessons at the end so it made it worth it for me. And the drawings were absolutely beautiful. 

Um...I know my "reviews" for these ones are really short, but how do you really go over a bunch of short stories? I don't know, so I won't try. On to the next!

Stabby Stab Stab

Forced masochism

I returned from Seattle today. It was...tiring. Mom met me out there because I'm spoiled, but it was so helpful for me to have her there. 

She got to the airport a few minutes before I did, so she was waiting for me at baggage claim. We checked into our hotel and set off to eat. We settled on a place that served Middle Eastern street food and yummmm. After eating we wandered around, found some shops to revisit in the morning, and grabbed a bottle of wine to sit and chat and watch terrible cable with. Honestly, why does cable still exist? It's terrible, most of the shows are terrible, and (worst of all) half of the "show" is commercials. It's bullshit. 

Next morning we went to a place called Biscuit Bitch that only served different types of biscuits and gravy. Not my favorite type of breakfast, but it was decent and the place was fun. Next we did some shopping and I woke up in a Sephora (so many bonus points to you if you get that reference). 

Then it was off to the hospital. Checked in and waited and worried. Saw the CMA who was really nice and took care of the basics. Waited some more. In came the doctor. He was thorough and very nice from the get-go, starting off with asking me to explain what happened when I got sick (which somehow hadn't made it with my other records). Next he checked my knees, ankles, feet, elbows, wrists, fingers (all of which have been giving me trouble in the past few weeks); he checked for psoriasis and issues in my back and other joints. 
He assured me that, though I am a very sick person, he knew how to treat me. That was good news. But there was a catch: it means giving myself an injection every two weeks for the rest of my life. 
It just occurred to me that I really shouldn't feel bad for myself, lots of people have to do it. But I hate it. I hate having this thing that takes over my body and is ruining it. Anyway. 

He told me how he wanted to treat the problem, and then everything went super fast. My head is still spinning. He explained some things to me, then the CMA came back in. Set up another appointment for me and worked on some insurance stuff. Next was the nurse. She went over how to do the injection and some of the medication stuff. She kept apologizing because all of that would normally have been in a second appointment but they were kind of tied with me not being local. Then it was off for blood work. 

The whole thing took 2 hours, which is the longest I've had with one appointment before. In a way it was good, because they made me feel like they were really taking care of me, and they stressed multiple times that I'm not alone; there's a team behind me that's available at any time for any question. It was very reassuring and a bit validating for him to say that I was am quite sick (and that the doctor here didn't give me enough steroids). But it was a whoooole lot at once. I'm really still trying to debrief myself and remember everything I need to do. I actually woke up in the middle of the night last night panicking about some phone call I need to make or some step in the process that I need to take care of.  

After the appointment we wandered a bit (have I mentioned how much I love walking around cities?!) and did some more shopping. Dinner at a brewery and another bottle of wine to go back for talking and bad cable. 

And this morning we left. I was (still am) exhausted, mentally drained, sleep deprived, and feeling sorry for myself. But when I landed I had to stop to pick up my steroids and get a flu shot. It did perk me up a bit to get home and see my Soldier. But it's still a lot. The worst part? Because of my fingers swelling I can't wear my engagement and wedding rings. Sentimental and silly, possibly, but I guess I'm in a good position if that's the worst of it.