Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Shake it Out

"And I am done with my graceless heart so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart"

I couldn't really think of a topic for this post, so a big thanks goes to Florence and the Machine and their amazing, cryptic lyrics. And her voice...just...ugh. If you're not familiar with them, catch up. You're seriously missing out. 

I had lunch with Sandy the other day and she asked me if Tee reads my blog. I quickly said, "God, I hope not." I know some of the stuff I say in here is pretty harsh; this is my place to put my thoughts, concerns, gripes, whatever. It's kind of like my diary. Except that...it's out there for...uh...the whole world. I guess it doesn't bother me because I have no idea who most of you are. And if Tee does read it, I guess he doesn't put too much stock into it. And I'll say it again: I do care about him, in my own semi-heartless way. 

We're taking my parents to an NHL game this weekend, and then we're getting squared away for DC. I recently read that taking a road trip with someone will tell you if you can really stand them or not. I suppose we'll find out! 


We went to the game yesterday, SO much fun! Hockey is an incredible game. One minute they're gliding along beautifully and gracefully, and the next they're beating the crap out of each other. Then when they get hurt they don't whine about it; they just want to get patched up as quickly as possible and get back in. 
So Tee is also a big hockey fan, and we root for different teams. Well, that was the game we went to, at my team's stadium. So, obviously, Tee was in the minority with his attire. My team won, cause they're awesome. Apparently that gave people license to be giant twats. Lord help me, I will never understand why people get so worked up about sports. 

As we were leaving, a couple people yelled at him about how the team sucked. I mean, really? Your team already won, let it go. But when I heard these people yell, I was the first one to say something back; I felt the need to protect him or something. 
But then I was getting really annoyed when he was complaining about the refs screwing his team. My thought was still that the game was done, get over it. What a conundrum.

So this trip could be make or break for us. Either way, you'll be some of the first to know. 

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Wanderlust

Oh, the places you'll go

I'm feeling the itch again, guys. I know, we've got this DC trip planned (umm...have I mentioned that? If not, Tee and I are going to DC in a couple weeks. I think I did mention it). Anyway we have this trip planned but it feels stronger. I want to get away and do exciting things. 

I think, partly, with the adventures; I'm hoping that something will happen to pull me out of this town. It's one of the reasons I didn't want to come back after I graduated college: people move home and they get comfortable and complacent. 
Don't get me wrong, this is a great place. There's a lot of nature and beauty here...but the people are...different. I appreciate nice, expensive things. I want to look nice when I leave the house. I enjoy different cultures, art, history. Because of all that, I'm considered very high maintenance. The opening day of hunting season might as well be a holiday here. Camouflage is considered a normal staple for most people's wardrobes, and is completely acceptable as a home decor pattern.  

I know I sound like a completely judgy bitch right now. That's not my intention. You'd be surprised how much I get crap for "trying" so hard. But I don't do it for others; I do it because it makes me feel good. I also know that I was just lucky enough to be born with a nice physique. (Disclaimer: I'm not at all implying that someone must be thin or look a certain way. None of that matters; there can be beauty in anyone or anything. Warm fuzzies.) But it's really refreshing to go places where most people take pride in their appearance. 

Alright, it's getting a little preachy. Bring it back in. 
There's also the difference between visiting somewhere and actually living there. So would I get the same feeling no matter where I went? I dunno. Maybe. 
One of my friends went to Spain to teach English for a year, and I've considered doing that (but in France). 
I mentioned that to Tee the other day and he just kind of looked at me. I don't blame him. It's essentially saying "I want to move across the world and I don't really care how you feel about it." 

There's a line in Wedding Crashers where Bradley Cooper's character is talking about Rachel McAdam's character and says that she's trying to find herself or whatever. That's how I feel a lot of the time. 
So, I guess that's where I am: over here trying to find myself, or whatever.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Cupid

The celebration of love

Ah, Valentine's Day. Tee was finishing up a cruise, so he was out of the state. I was okay with that; I've never been a huge fan of the holiday. But, I did decide to try and be a good girlfriend. 
Before he left, I had Tee make a grocery list. I shopped so he'd have food when he got back, and cleared off his driveway. I also left a card and present waiting. In the card, I told him that I'd picked 20 things I appreciate about him and enjoy about us...and that he had to find them throughout his house. I would also like to say that I drove out there in a near-blizzard and it took me double the time it usually does. GF of the year right here, thankyouverymuch.

I was excited to see him. But, atypically, I had enjoyed my entire time of being alone. (Did I mention that my roomies were gone too? They all decided to cruise at the same time. Without me. Jerks.) Does this mean I'm actually turning into an adult? NOOOOO! I wasn't even overly irritated at having to get up early and take care of the dog. It's concerning. 

After some hangups getting a ride from the airport, I finally got to see Tee in the afternoon the day after Valentine's. He was happy to see me, and it was good to see him. He brought me some jewelry...not Tiffany's...but some lovely earrings and a few necklace freebies. I really was glad to see him, promise, and not just for the presents. I took him out to dinner and then continued straightening up the house when we got back. I was putting the tissue paper back in the gift bag when I found something else inside. He took a deck of cards and wrote out "52 reasons I love you." Yup. Those words. Those words. 
Interestingly enough, he and I both picked a lot of the same reasons for...appreciating...each other. 

The following weekend we decided to go for a nice post-Valentine's dinner. We got dressed up for a nice seafood dinner, it was great. Except it's still too cold. Then I spent most of the remaining weekend crafting for his basement bar "we're" working on. It's so cute, it's hockey themed. And apparently I'm pretty good at artsing and crafting. 

Last weekend I went shopping with Meredith. It was really nice. I enjoy hanging out with her, and it was nice to get out for a bit. Then we had a birthday party for one of Tee's cousins; I really like spending time with his family. Well, my parents were there too. Sunday we went to Mass like good little Catholics, to a brewery with my parents and Tee's brother, and...I dunno something else. The point is, I've been busy, okay?! Sad as it is, I don't love having a life. 

And that brings me to now-ish. I'm tired, guys. My legs are starting to act up and swell a bit, slowly. I guess a slight perk of all that is having to take breaks somewhat frequently. Which brings me to the next trip--DC at the end of the month. The Sis and BroInLaw are there before heading to their next post, and I'm really excited to see them before they go. 

Oh. I forgot things. Last weekend my car started acting up really badly. Since Tee lives almost an hour away, I was really debating what to do. Until he brought it up, it absolutely didn't occur to me to have him follow me home (he had to come into town anyway). I didn't think of "we have to figure this out," I thought of "I have to figure this out." But, we came up with a plan. I was going to put the extra craft stuff away and he told me to put it in the computer room. I joked (as I have many times before) that he must have meant my dressing room. He hugged me and said it'd be my dressing room very soon. I freaked. I'm glad he couldn't see my face. I was turned toward the bookcase, so the only thing I could think to say was "put some books on that bookshelf." What does that say about me?
Then, this weekend, we were laying in bed chatting (I was trying to convince myself to get up). We were spooning (I really hate that term, I'm not sure why), and he always holds me really close, and he whispered, right into my ear, the words. THE WORDS. Then all of a sudden I kind of mumbled a reciprocation. And I guess in a strange, small way it's true.

He's so lovey. Why does that bother me? It'd be nice to have someone more like me--a combination of on and off; enjoying time together and time apart. I guess, given recent events and introspection, I'll never be a Cinderella.