Soul Mates

You just know.

I had an interesting conversation with a coworker last night. She said when she first met Soldier she was surprised: she thinks I'm better looking, but as you get to know his personality we're more understandable. I was a bit shocked at this. Of course I love his personality (although I'm irritated with him a lot), I find him incredibly attractive. I also just assume everyone else finds him just as good looking. Years (and years) ago, it was his eyes that first caught my attention, and I still find them captivating. I don't really understand that everyone wouldn't have that reaction. 

This morning I was looking at some of my memories on Facebook. I found that Soldier and I have been together for over a year and married for 8 months. I was a bit surprised at that, I hadn't realized it'd been that long. In most of my other relationships I've felt like it was a bit of a drag, and that if we just hit some sort of milestone it'd all be okay. I honestly started to think that that's just how it was, and maybe I was just better off on my own. It's really weird to think that this much time has gone by without me really even noticing. And before you know it, we'll have been on our Alaskan adventure for a year (which means another winter will be upon us...whiiine.) 

I'm sure I've told you guys all about how I don't believe in soul mates and "the one." Despite my love for Soldier, I'm still sticking with that line of thinking. There are still days when he's just doing everything wrong (because I'm obviously always right), or that it feels like we're just not on the same page. That stuff doesn't really feel like a relationship death sentence anymore, though. It's more like we'll just try again tomorrow. (I feel like I've heard that about parenting...but sometimes Soldier seems like a kid sooo...). 

I'm on the verge of getting mushy, aren't I? I'm so sorry guys. I don't think I've ever experienced this sort of thing. I kind of just wanted to be like "what are you talking about? How are you not in love with him? How is everyone not in love with him? Look at him! He's adorable!"

Alright. Anyway. I just had to share those weird thoughts with you guys. The moral of the story? Soldier irritates me and drives me insane, but he's my lobster.

169 Books: Angola

My Father's Wives by José Eduardo Agualusa

Angola is in western, southern-ish Africa:

And here's the recap of the book:
 When the celebrated Angolan musician Faustino Manso dies, his youngest daughter Laurentina journeys to Angola to trace the story of the father she never knew. Setting out to find the 7 wives and 18 children he left scattered across southern Africa, the fictional account of Laurentina's journey runs parallel with the author's chronicle of the novel's genesis. As the characters and their creator travel the southern African coast-from Angola through Namibia and South Africa to Mozambique-they meet extraordinary people and, along the way, discover Faustino's secrets.

• "How many truths make up a lie?" Whoa. Deep. On the first page. 
• This is written like a diary, which is kind of cool in some ways. However, there are multiple characters "writing" as well as the actual author's story, and I kind of have to guess who's point of view it is. It's irritating to spend half the section trying to figure it out.
• An essay on silences, and how many different silences there are. Happy, sad, afraid, tense, calm, dramatic, and on and on. 
• Even though I haven't read a whole lot of my Around the World books yet, I'm finding a theme about heritage and ancestry. Maybe white people don't really have such strong ties to the past...or maybe just me. I'm having a hard time understanding those potent themes.
• Ah. She slept with her nephew. Cool. 
• "A person who has no enemies doesn't deserve to have any friends."
• There's a lot of discussion about apartheid and frank deliberation about racism, from both the black and white sides. Some really interesting thoughts, I like it. 
• "Life is neither grey nor rose-tinted. It depends on the lenses through which you look at it.
• "Life is no less incoherent than dreams, it's just more persistent."
• There's an interesting twist that she doesn't take very well. Kinda sad.

This book took me for.ev.er. I know. I won't bore you with my myriad of excuses. Only some of them are good. This was definitely a thinking book. There wasn't a whole lot of action, but a ton of interesting thoughts and some discussion on tough topics. I did like the twists but didn't love the main character's attitude toward them. 

Like I said, I was kind of meh about the diary-style narration. Mostly I didn't like that, to an extent, you had to guess which character (or the author) the perspective was in. There were also a lot of references to poems, though I don't know if they're actual poems or the author made them up. Either way, it was a pretty intellectual book. Overall I liked it. 

A Shower

Good, clean fun.

Get your mind out of the gutter, not that kind of shower. Although those are also good, clean fun. 
I realized I hadn't written a post from my trip home and the wedding shower. So, very late, here it is.

Now, I may or may not have mentioned it (I think I did), but I did not want to have a shower. I used all the excuses of being so far away, the expense of getting out of Alaska, and not being able to bring gifts back. All those excuses were answered, tickets booked, and before I knew it I was headed back to the continental (or, as I like to refer to it, the real) United States. Let me tell you, I know I'm still technically in the US, but it feels like going to a completely different country with so much more stuff. More things to do, see, and buy, places to go, and people to hang out with. It's glorious!

Know what's not glorious? Traveling for 12 hours. I shouldn't complain, my sister and brother in law traveled for like 17 hours...but that doesn't make it suck less. I think I left Alaska at like 6 in the morning and got home at like 10 or 11 at night. Craziest part? When I got up in Juneau at 3:45 in the freaking morning the sun was getting up with me. THAT'S NOT RIGHT. I felt like a vampire hissing at the sun. And then it was so dark when I landed. I kept saying that the time change wasn't too hard on me, but the light change was. It was weird. 
Anyway, I got in after basically forever and got to see my parents and some siblings and the dogs and it was wonderful. And I was tired. 

The next day we went shopping. We were looking for a bridesmaid dress for my sister...it was not the most pleasant experience. I thought I was being the opposite of a bridezilla by telling them to pick whatever they wanted. What would the opposite of a bridezilla be? Hmm. Dunno. But I thought they'd get to pick something that the felt and looked good in and spend the amount they wanted. Sister decided we had to go to a bridal store and she discontentedly picked out a bridesmaid dress. Well, okay. I'm not sure she's the least bit excited for the wedding, but I did give them all the choice to opt out of bridesmaiding. 
So we moved on to the mall where I was super excited to shop. I did a great job at Sephora and then lost my excitement. I do this every time: I'm so happy to be able to shop and then remember that nobody dresses up or tries to look nice for stuff in Alaska and I lose steam. But it was nice to spend time with my mom and one sister nonetheless. 

Uh, I'm not gonna go through day by day, I don't remember them specifically. But I got to spend time with my side of the family, Soldier's side of the family, and some friends. 

The day of the shower, I was expectantly nervous. So many people, so much attention, so stressful. 

I'd ordered a dress from Rent the Runway. A beautiful, $700 Marchesa that I wore for $30. Not too shabby. So I was feeling pretty, which was a good start. I tried making small talk as people arrived and felt like a huge idiot. Things started moving along: food, gifts, chatting. And then it was over.  

That was it.

It was quite awkward. I don't really like having all the attention, especially when people stare at you while you're opening cards and stuff. But it was also really fantastic. It was a whole bunch of women who really love Soldier and I and who we're so lucky to have in our lives. As much as I didn't want to do a shower, I'm so glad I did it. I can't wait to get back home to see everyone again. But really, on the other hand, hella awkward.