World History III

Opulence and Style

Monday
It was raining when I woke up. I wasn't complaining, for two reasons: 1) It gave me a good excuse to sleep in and be a little bit lazy. 2) The weather was amazing for the rest of the trip. It also didn't throw off my plans because I'd already made the fan-freaking-tastic decision to do a Hop-On-Hop-Off bus for the day. These things are ingenious for vacations.

There's a set route which multiple buses travel all day, you pay one fee, and you get on and off as many times as you want. Plus, they give you earbuds to listen to a commentary that tells you stuff about the city as you're riding through. I learned so many cool things! 

I picked up the bus at the Arc de Triomphe, which was closest on the metro to home base.  I honestly enjoyed listening to the history as much as I did actually seeing the things. My first interest was the Hotel des Invalides, and the closest stop was the Grand Palais, right across from the Petit Palais. They might as well both have been called Grand and Fancy as Fuck Palais. And I didn't even go inside. But check this shit out: 

This is the entrance to the Petit Palais. Petit. I call bullshit. 









After taking some pictures I walked across the Pont Alexandre III. Super gorgeous, and another great view of the Tower. Not bad. Another history lesson! The bridge is named for Tsar Alexandre III and his son, Nicholas (yup, that Tsar Nicholas) laid the foundation stone. 


Then it was on to Hotel National des Invalides. It was originally meant to be a hospital for veterans, and part of it is still used for that, but most of it is a museum. It has like 5 or 6 different areas, and I really only fit in a few of them. I basically walked into the first section I saw, which had military stuff from Louis XIV to Napoleon I. It was pretty neat; lots of uniforms and weapons, even some cavalry stuff, maps, and medical equipment. 
I was trying to keep track of time, so I wanted to see Napoleon's tomb next. Of course it's housed in the big, ornate domed part of the Invalides. Not exactly humble, was he?

When I walked in I was of course blown away by the intricacies of the building. It had an amazing ceiling, which was another theme to the trip: kickass artworked ceilings. The next thing that caught me was a huge gilded crucifix. It was amazing. Behind it was basically a wall of glass, and I could see the chapel through it. I couldn't stop staring at it, it was just magnificent. 
See for yourself: 

Ah-may-zing.

After seeing that, I had to see the chapel. And it did not disappoint. Like the chapel at Giverny, it had gorgeous stained glass windows, and lots of flags (which you can kind of see in that picture). I know there's more I could say about the chapel, but it's such a personal and spiritual thing, I really don't know how to put it into words. So, I won't even try. Moving along. 

Because I'm completely logical and not at all stubborn, I didn't want to go back the way I came. Any of the ways I came. I needed to head toward the Eiffel Tower, but, I had no idea where I needed to go. Sounds simple, right? Wrong. When you're in the middle of the city, even a giant tower isn't terribly easy to find. The good news is that I was able to find it every once in a while. While I'm sure I took a very roundabout and extended walk, I got there. And I did get to see some random neighborhoods and areas of Paris. Even though I'd only seen one attraction, I was already a few hours and a LOT of walking in, and I'm not ashamed to admit I was already getting a bit tired. 

After catching the bus again at the Tower (I'm glad I got another chance to see it up close) I gladly sat for a while and listened to more interesting information about the city. The next stop (and the next one I was interested in) was the Opera Garnier. 

Hiiistooory! Technically the Palais Garnier, it was named after its architect, Charles Garnier. When they were building it, they found underground lakes, which made it difficult. Garnier was also pretty difficult and insisted on some pretty opulent touches. That included a six ton chandelier, which at some point crashed into the crowd and killed a guy. Or a girl, I dunno. Someone died. Have you figured out where this is going yet? It was the inspiration for Gaston Leroux's Phantom of the Opera. This was another attraction I'd been eagerly anticipating. Unfortunately, they weren't doing tours the day I went, but I did get to walk around the outside and (of course) visit the gift shop. I passed up the opportunity to buy a copy of the book in French, and I now regret that. C'est la vie. 

My last stop was to see Notre Dame again. I walked through quickly to marvel at everything again. The main reason I went there was to buy a new rosary, I figured that was a pretty good opportunity to replace the one I can't find. By this time I was really tired, but I didn't quite want to finish my trip. I took a few minutes to sit in the square and just people watch and look around. 

Pretty exhausted with very tired feet, I got back on the bus, learned a bit more, and made my way back to the Arc de Triomphe. Then it was down to the metro and back to home base. We again just relaxed at home, which was great for me. I was pretty drained. 

Okay, that was a lot for one post, so I'll drag it out and leave my last day for another one. Plus it's bedtime for me, so goodnight my lovelies! 

World History II

The art of life

Saturday
We got up pretty early to catch the train to Giverny. This was one of the main reasons I'd wanted to get back to Paris, so I was really excited. Sitting on the train, I watched Paris fade away as we headed northwest to the country. At the station, we quickly made our way to the station for a short bus ride to Monet's Gardens. Just before we reached the gardens, though, we passed by a field with pigs...and emus. Because, why not...I guess?

We walked through this little town, some of it touristy, some just normal town stuff. Finally we came to the actual gardens. You have to walk in through the gift shop, and then it opens up to all the flowers. 
Apparently Monet was a collector of exotic flowers, and he did the whole thing himself. It was gorgeous and amazing. 

The pictures don't do it justice; the colors were so vibrant. Then we got to the area with the waterlilies. W-O-W. The secluded area of ponds with lilies, the bridges, bamboo, and a whole bunch of weeping willows, even a little rowboat. And Monet built it all. (Disclaimer: I guess parts of it were destroyed during WWII, so it had to be redone. But I think he probably still deserves most of the credit.) 

He created this other world out of a fairy tale. I can't even imagine how beautiful it would be to spend time there without all the tourists. I wished I could make everyone else disappear and sit under the willows with a book. 

Although, one thing I did like about all the other people was a big group of art students. They were broken up into smaller groups and sketching the waterlily area. It was kind of neat. 

After we got our fill of the flowers we stopped for lunch. My sister let me try her steak tartare...I was disgusted. The texture seriously grossed me out. But at least I tried. 

Our last quick stop was the church. The Monet family was buried there, and it had a small cemetery. The church seemed kind of rundown and unremarkable, so I was a bit surprised when I found an open door. It was very pretty--it seemed to have been done in the style of Monet's time. And then I saw something that took my breath away. To the right of the altar there was a statue, I don't even remember what it was, but there was also a stained glass window. It let in this ethereal bluish light, and only covered a small area. It was unbelievable. It's still stuck in my head as one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. 

The train back to the city was packed, and we weren't able to get seats. It was excruciating having to stand the whole time after all the walking, and Bro-In-Law had twisted his ankle so he was having as much fun as I was. On a positive note, there was kind of a mall at the train station, so we did some shopping. Another successful day.

Sunday

The plan for the day was to go to Marais to do some more shopping, and then Montmartre so I could visit the artist's square. 

The shopping started out slow at some boutiques with expensive and...unique clothing. Then we walked into Jo Malone, and had a lovely time. The girl who helped us really enjoyed her job and we walked out laden with packages and smelling great. 

We took a little break and sat down in a park--Place des Vosges. The park is surrounded by buildings that all look exactly the same, and Victor Hugo lived in one of them. It's said he wrote parts of Les Miserables in the park. 

Bro-In-Law decided to bow out at this point and rest his sore ankle, so Sister and I headed up to Montmartre. 

We needed lunch at this point, and there were restaurants that had set up kind of tents in the middle of all the artists. I accidentally ordered a tequila flavored beer that, interestingly, was brewed in France. It actually wasn't bad. Then we got crepes...mmmmm. I definitely did my best to get my fill of French foods...although I don't think there's such thing as getting a fill of them. 

I went a little nuts with getting artwork, and got some really good pieces for Tee. I was so glad that I did more shopping this time. 

We traveled back and relaxed for the rest of the day. I noticed that, even without doing a whole lot, I got very tired. I was perfectly happy spending the evenings in and trying to recoup. I tried as hard as I could to not let my legs impede my trip at all, and I did pretty well for the most part. But it was a lot of walking and I definitely needed the time to rest. 

Being a world traveler is hard work, you know. 

World History I

Exploring the City of Lights and Love

Sorry for the delay on this post; it's been a busy few days. But I'll cut right to the chase.

Wednesday-Thursday
Firstly, the flight was horrid; worse than I'd expected. Not because of anything the airline did, just because my legs were so uncomfortable. The free wine did help a bit, but not much. And it really didn't help that I couldn't really sleep because I was all hurty. I tried as best I could to stretch my legs out every once in a while; paying extra for first class might be worth it for me. Riiight, like I could afford that! Eh, a girl can dream.
I tried to be a nice flight-mate and chat with the gentleman next to me. I found out that he's an ENT surgeon somewhere around the French-Italian border. We chatted and he was very nice. When I mentioned that my sister was working and I'd be taking a taxi, he offered to give me a ride since he was renting a car. I hesitated for a split second before I accepted. A split second after that, I questioned my decision. I know, I know, whatintheworldwasIthinking. I decided that, as a precaution, I'd call my brother-in-law when I got in the car. That way, he knew I was in the area and when to expect me. So if worse came to worse they could track the phone and, even if I was dead, maybe catch the guy. Hey, I like to be optimistic AND cautious when I'm on vacay!
ENT and I both got our luggage, and he asked if I'd like to have some real French coffee. Since he was saving me about 70 Euros, I agreed. We stopped at a café and had espresso, orange juice, croissants, and pain au chocolat. Delish. He wouldn't even let me pay for it. I called BroInLaw as soon as we got the car and told him I'd be there soon-ish. Navigating through Paris and getting a quick tutorial in French helped make the time pass quickly. ENT asked if I would like to meet up and visit some attractions in the few days he would be in Paris, and I said I didn't think I'd have time. Keep that in mind as the moment I may have passed up my chance at trophy wifeness.

I was beat so I sat on the couch for a bit, but knew I'd fall asleep if I didn't move. I mustered up all of my adult courage, maneuvered the metro, and visited the Arc de Triomphe. I got some awesome pictures, which I shall now grace you with.
Here's the inside of the Arc, with the ginormous French flag.

We weren't supposed to take pictures inside, but I couldn't help myself. (Plus they really only had one half-assed sign when you got your ticket). There were a shit-ton of stairs. I felt very out of shape, and my thighs were actually sore when I had to go back down them. I'm embarrassed to admit that.

 And, of course, the obligatory picture of the Eiffel Tower from the top of the Arc. Good God, with the addition of pictures I feel like this is a real blog or something. Weird.

I decided that was enough of an outing on my own. Back to the apartment and to hang out with ma famille. 'Twas lovely, just as I expected. 

Friday

BroInLaw decided to join me today in visiting the Catacombs. It was one of the coolest, craziest things I've 

ever seen. 

Here's your history lesson! That area of Paris had a ton of limestone, and it was mined for...I dunno, stuff that uses limestone. (I'm tired, give me a break.) They would follow along the vein and then just abandon the mine when they used it all up. So rude. Next thing you know, too many people are dying and the cemeteries of Paris are being overrun. Some brilliant guy decided to kill two birds with one stone, and put the bones in the empty mines. They made them all decorative, eventually opened it to the public, and, voila! The rest is basically fluff until last week when I visited. Cause it's all about me...YAY! 

Six million freaking bodies. Six. Followed by six zeroes. Multiplied by lots of bones per body. They also labeled which cemetery the bones came from and when they were moved. Super cool, and here's a fun shot from it: 

Next we stopped for lunch, where I learned I'm not a huge fan of anchovies, and BroInLaw and I debated some social topics. I'm not entirely sure how we figured out where the hell we were or where we were going, but we made a quick stop at the Luxembourg Palace. Very pretty. 

We went out to dinner that night, at a very small, cozy, lovely place. I had skate fish (still don't really know what it is) and grouse. Holy crap! Skate fish is a ray! I ate a freaking ray! That's super exciting. It was super yummy. 

On the way back I got to stop and take some pictures of Notre Dame all lit up. That is a thing of beauty; absolutely breathtaking. My pictures didn't do it justice, but here you go: 

Eh, I guess it's not too bad. You get the idea.

I was slightly buzzed, and we had to get up early the next morning, so that was it for the night. There weren't any late nights this time, and that's okay with me. Besides, the leg stuff makes me much more tired now. There was also a lot of walking involved. So, with a full belly and a smile on my face, it was time for beddy-bye. 

Two days down...well, two and a half I guess with the flight...next two, next post! 

Paris II

Back to the City of Lights

Today's the day I head back to Paris! I'm excited, but nervous. Okay, at this point I tried to find a clip for you all of an older SNL skit where Zac Efron was going off to college and realized that he learned nothing of value for the real world. It was a parody of the High School Musical series and in it he talks about how he sang a song called "Nervous but Excited" and nobody joined in. It's really funny, so if you can find it, more power to you. I couldn't. Lame-o. 

Once I get to Paris, I have to get a taxi and make it to my sister's house. This shouldn't be a huge problem, but I'm super anxious about having to use French. I'm still not very good, and it's worse when I'm trying to understand someone. 
Then, my biggest hurdle will be (if my bro-in-law doesn't want to go do all the stuff with me) forcing myself out of the house to adventure on my own. As much as I don't like people and crowds, I don't like doing stuff on my own unless it's familiar. Wow, I'm a bit of a basket case, n'est-ce pas? (Okay, Google translate is telling me that phrase isn't quite what I want, but I'm pretty sure it is. Worst case scenario, I look like a dumb American. Everyone needs to be humbled every once in a while.) 

So. On the books is Giverny to see Monet's house and gardens...and that's about it. Everything else is up in the air. I have some ideas but nothing concrete. That might be fun, except, again, I just have to make myself do it. I'm even bringing running shoes for the park near their house. We'll see how much my legs hate me. 

Anyway...whatever happens, happens; c'est la vie; what doesn't kill you makes you stronger; etc. etc. 

Next! Without even having this trip out of the way, I've got the next one planned. I made a joke about going to Vegas for my birthday. Some of Tee's family have birthdays around the same time, so a few of us are going. Simple as that. We got a good deal, and my birthday is on a Friday, so we can have lots of fun. We're staying at the Venetian, which looks lovely. I suppose that's all I've got for now. 

Wish me luck in Paris! (As wonderful as Tee is, I'm still crossing my fingers to meet Henry Cavill. What can I say...a girl can dream!) 
Be good, my lovelies...and if you can't be good, be good at it!

The Bubble

Life must be easy when you ignore the rest of the world.

Let's get to it then. I can't remember if I've mentioned Richard Cranium (RC) since the reboot. So, if I have, you get another gentle reminder. 
A few years ago, I ruined a relationship because I thought that RC wasn't interested in anything more than friendship. Silly, silly me. My boyfriend didn't trust him, I didn't think my boyfriend should tell me who I could and couldn't be friends with, we broke up. As it turns out, RC was not simply interested in friendship. But shortly afterwards, he moved to one of the most God-forsaken places on the planet: Alabama (cue the shudder).

Somehow he convinced me to come visit him. I think I convinced myself it was a good idea because 1. I was due for a vacation, 2. I'd never been there, and 3. it would be warmer. 1. That did not qualify as a vacation, 2. I wish I'd never been there, and 3. it wasn't. I flew out there, he didn't have any money (no exaggeration...he sat at the airport bar waiting to pick me up and I had to pay the tab), and he was just kind of a jerk the whole time. He wanted to spend the entire time drinking (also no exaggeration...he would start to pull out a bottle of liquor as soon as he woke up), was fine with spending all of my money, and had no concept for anything but what he wanted. 
In the end, I had a seriously terrible time and he owed me $400. 

The next time he came home to visit, he wanted to see me. But he'd brought a girl home with him for half of the trip, so I didn't jump at the offer. I did ask for the money though. He didn't appreciate that, and I'm sure he called me many unkind names, I don't remember anymore. It does sound like something he'd do, though. So I didn't see him, and I didn't get the money. 

Not too long ago, he told me he would be visiting and we should catch up. He had a girlfriend, I figured it'd been long enough, and I had a tiny glimmer of hope that I might get my $400. 
But I also wasn't going out of my way to see him, which really became apparent when I wasn't feeling well but he thought I should just drop everything and drive half an hour to see him. I repeatedly told him why I didn't want to (it was getting late, I didn't feel well, I had to work the next day, etc, etc.) and he just kept pushing, oblivious to everything I said. He finally let up after he called and I got quite upset and had to explain the whole autoimmune thing. Which is always a ton of fun. 

He tried again a few more times, but I was out of town with Tee. Finally I told him we could hang out, and suggested getting a drink after work. He then told me he wasn't allowed at bars. While visiting, he got in a drunken bar fight. He called to "explain" things to me. He was in a bar fight (I don't know the details)...he broke up with the girlfriend that night and apparently got a domestic violence charge for shoving her away from him. Then he said that he was trying to get his golf clubs out the trunk of her car and she wouldn't give them up, so he threatened to break her windshield wiper. And then, he did, so he got another charge for that. He was then placed on a tether because he lives out of town and was considered a flight risk. 
I'll admit that I felt kind of bad for him, solely because he just makes things so difficult for himself. Earnestly, I told him we could figure out something to do for the next day. 

The next day, after a short conversation, he told me he missed me. You've probably guessed by now that I talk to myself a lot, and I don't keep my feelings hidden well. So, as I'm sitting at work, my facial expression, gestures, and words ranged between disbelief, amusement, and annoyance. I asked if he had meant to send the text elsewhere, to which he replied negatively. He added a winky-smiley-face. I may have thrown up in my mouth a little. I almost couldn't believe he was trying to pull this crap. So I made a joke about how he must really have been bored the past few days. He apparently felt the need to explain himself and told me I'm one of the few girls he still talks to that he hasn't known since he was little; I reminded him that he has known me that long. Then he tried to spin it, pointing out that a lot of romantic movies have the leads knowing each other from childhood. Oh, gag. I told him I didn't put much stock into those movies, and he told me he's a huge romantic. (He must have been referring to the time Alabama when we stopped to get snacks and he got me a rose. From a gas station. With my money. Soooo romantic.) 

Next he asked me to let him take me to a movie. I was done with it. I asked if he knew I was seeing someone. He did. I cut right to the chase: "So you know that's not going to happen, right?" He feigned innocence: "What? A movie with a friend?" I pointed out that he'd just been talking about romance, and he said it was just a joke. I ignored his calls and texts, then later told him I was just in for the night. 

Today, he texted and asked if I'd be able to give him a ride to the airport. Nope. I work. Like an adult. I asked how court went; his parents shelled out a bunch of money to settle and get the charges off his record. No wonder he's a man-child; they keep bailing him out and paying off his debts to society. Too bad my $400 isn't on that list. 

Wining and Dining

Memories with a side of alcohol

Tee and I had another adventure this weekend. We headed north to a town that‘s very touristy in the summer…but once fall hits, hockey takes over for a short time. We went to see some NHL hopefuls play, and let me tell you, it was beautiful. Everyone here is getting all excited about football, and I’m all “is it hockey season yet?!” I’m not a fan of football. To me, it’s about guys wearing tight pants who need to jump on the guy with the ball. And they stop about every 2 seconds. And, while I’m ranting, I’d like to start a petition to have the name officially changed to Tackle Ball. Who’s with me?! Hmm…I’m sure that would go over well.

There’s just something about hockey—it’s graceful, but brutal. Also, I think it may be the official sport of those with ADD. But I just love it. The rink is so cold and dry, and you have to get all bundled up…then the teams come out gliding and spinning and it’s almost like dancing. The sounds too…the puck against the sticks and the gentle thud of bodies being checked into the boards. And the next thing you know, gloves and helmets are thrown off and someone might be getting a concussion. It’s all so wonderful.

Oh shoot, I have to back up. We went early to visit a distillery, where I got good and sloshed. I didn’t mean to, but the vodka was really delicious, and I really like vodka. Tee and I support different hockey teams (because he’s wrong), and we were both suited up in team gear. (And I looked super-hot. For some reason grammar check wanted that hyphenated…sure. I’m giving myself credit for that one. I mean the hotness, not the hyphenation. Someone later that night asked if I was a makeup artist. Score!) We walked in and the people who were selling tickets were very amused at our opposing attire. And we were pretty adorable. 

That brings us back to hockey. We had a lot of fun, even though both of our teams lost. Afterwards, we went back to the casino (where we were staying the night) and gambled a bit. I did not win millions. Why don't I ever get to win the millions? I want to win the monies. 

Anywho, even though I lost, I always play a slot machine that's super entertaining. So I suppose that's something. Besides the fact that I was at a casino so it's really my own damn fault. 

The next day we hung out with Meredith and Darryl. I really didn't want to, considering recent events. But it turned out to be a lot of fun. Again, I think a good amount of that was because I had Tee. We all went to brunch and then a couple of wineries. The first one had a quick tour that we partook of and learned a lot about making wine (probably none of which I could remember). After the wineries we made a quick stop at a lighthouse. What I didn't mention was that this stuff was all on a beautiful peninsula. Rolling hills, trees, grapevines, and the bay on either side. It was picturesque and gorgeous, and I'm so glad I got to spend that time with him. On the other hand, I'm definitely ready for some lazy time...but I won't get that anytime soon! It's time to start thinking about Paris again. 

Next up: Richard Cranium resurfaces. Stay tuned! 

Animal Magnetism

Roar

This past weekend was incredible. Two of my most wonderful friends, Sandy and Danny, got married. In a zoo. And it was the most fun I've ever had at a wedding. 

Why?
Well a big part of that was because my date didn't suck. The rest was because of the awesome people involved in the wedding. 

Wait, wait, let's start over. After the eye, dog, and Bridezilla stuff, I was feeling quite worn out. (Although, one of my bosses has given me the title Phantom of the Wedding. I rather like it.) Like I said before, I stress myself out so much more than I need to, but I don't know how to not. But when it rains, it pours, right? 
So I was getting all my ducks in order last week for the zoo weekend, and threw in a load of laundry to make sure I had all the stuff I wanted to pack. When I noticed it was done, I naturally started to put the clothes in the dryer. Nope. They were soaking wet and my washing machine just kept flashing lights at me. The good news? I got a really good arm workout wringing all the water out of them. So I made an appointment for a repair person to come out on Monday, tried my best to figure it out, and resigned myself to failure on that. 

On Friday, I frantically ran around getting things together and worrying (of course). I got the dog dropped off, stopped at Tee's house, and we were off. I can't tell you how many times he did his best to soothe my anxiety. It didn't work, but he really tried. 
We checked into the hotel and had enough time to change before it was off to the rehearsal. Which was a waste. The "coordinator" really had no idea what she was doing, and didn't actually coordinate anything. So, in the sweltering heat, we talked about what was going to happen. There was no audio to practice music and timing, and it was outside so the chairs and such weren't set up for spacing. Like I said, a waste. But it was also the temperature of the sun so we were quick to get out of there and move on to dinner and drinking. 

Saturday we woke up and I got half-ready to go to the salon. I only had an appointment to get my makeup done, because I figured my hair's a bit short to do much with. When we walked in, the owner (an older, not-impressive man) asked about the purple in my hair. But a lot of people have been asking about it, so no big. I got my makeup done, and it did look pretty sweet. I was sitting, waiting, and the owner came back. He started to interrogate me about my life and told me that he sold half the salon for some TV thing and they're looking for models. I gave him one of my cards and he said he may call. A few minutes later, I was talking to a few of the girls and the owner asked what my plan was for my hair and, when I said I didn't have one, asked if he could play with it. So, I had my hair and makeup done all wonderfully for the wedding. 

It was not my favorite performance, by a long-shot. But everyone else enjoyed it, so that's the important part. Then we got to settle in and have a good time, and we certainly did. I couldn't have had a better time with Tee and all the others. The best part was that he had a good time with all of them. I didn't have to worry about entertaining him the whole time, or that he'd get belligerent or be a jerk. He had a good time and wanted me to have a good time. It made me appreciate him so much more. 

On Sunday we got up and had breakfast with everyone, then went back to the zoo to actually check it out. It was a lot of fun, I love zoos. Although I still can't decide if they're good or not...I think in some cases they are, but not others. I'm just fascinated with the animals though. Anyway after the zoo and a few hours in the car, I was home. Exhausted, but happy. I may actually be opening up to Tee. I'm excited for our next adventure.