Holding Back

Still being your own biggest enemy

Okay, so I've been back from Paris for a couple of weeks, and it's haunting me. It's literally everywhere! It probably was before, I just didn't notice it then. 
I took this silly quiz about what city you should really live in...Paris. The White House Black Market campaign this spring...Paris. The Eiffel Tower is everywhere in stores. Yeah, I know, these aren't big things. 

See, I do this pretty much whenever I come back from a vacation. (Except the one I took to Alabama. Blech. I'll be happy to never set foot in that hellhole again! Except to get food. The food was deliciously Southern.) Alright so I get back from a lovely, glamorous vacation (because I only go on lovely, glamorous vacations! Again, except for the one we don't speak of. So I'll stop speaking of it now.) and realize that my life is sad and boring and I want more. And if I listen to everybody around me, I should be doing more. 
OH! Did I mention I got my suitcase? Five days late, but I got my suitcase. Everything was even accounted for and intact! But I still hate American Airlines. They're customer service was crap till the last minute. They're dumb and lame. 

Anywho, I'm now trying to figure out how I can have the time and money for more adventuring. And I've started to look into civil and foreign service. Kinda crazy. But, I'm feeling cramped and bored and I need a change. Whether or not I'll actually make a change remains to be seen. I have a habit of getting scared and not taking any big risks without some outside influence. 

There's not much movement on the guy front. A few friends I've been chatting with, and Dr. Stephen calls every couple of days. I still go back and forth between knowing that Lindbergh is a good guy and hating everything he says and does. It's a lot of little things. And this is the part I hate...I've met his family and friends and am friends with half of them on the Facebook. It makes me feel guilty that I'm not seeming to make this work. 
At the same time I think about not having anything to do if Lindbergh and I stop hanging out. Most of my friends have moved away and, while I love spending time alone, there can be too much of that. And, of course, I still get lonely sometimes. 

Well, I know this is a short one. But I figured you all deserved an update. Hopefully there will be a fun story to report soon!