I lived with a boyfriend when I was in college. We moved in kind of quickly, and it ended up being a not-genius move. It turned out that we had very different personalities, wants, and needs, and neither one of us were willing to concede a whole lot. While we were still living together, he decided he wanted to break up. The catch was that we’d already made plans to move to a different city where we would live in one of his parent’s houses for free and I would complete my internship. So we stayed together with the understanding that we would be breaking up in the near future.
That was really hard. Even though we weren’t great together, I didn’t want to break up. And he was so good at pretending it was a normal relationship. It really messed with my head. Eventually we learned to live together as friends and I started a long distance relationship. But I promised myself that I wouldn’t do something like that again—if I was going to be living with a guy, there would be real commitment.
I don’t remember how that conversation came up with Soldier. It must have happened when we were discussing his job opportunities and how we knew there was a possibility that he’d have to move. There was never a question for me that if he asked, I’d go.
When he brought up Alaska, I tried to stay calm and not mention my involvement. After a few minutes he asked if I wanted to move to Alaska. That was it. I knew I was getting a ring, and that part wasn’t very romantic, but he still did his best to make it special.
We were going up to his family’s “cabin” a few weekends ago and I had a feeling that was going to be it. I got dolled up and put on one of my favorite summer dresses, but when I got to his house, he looked like he might be going to work on a car or something. I was immediately annoyed. He also wasn’t ready to go, and asked if I needed to eat dinner. We were already planning on stopping at a brewery, so I said I’d grab something there, but he didn’t like that idea. So I grumpily ate a salad and we headed off. We got to the brewery and it was swamped. There was a single seat open at the bar but I told him we should just go; it would be weird and uncomfortable. I was still hopeful and thought that sunset on the little lake would be perfect. But then his car wouldn’t start. We’d driven separately, which was super lucky, and when he did get it going I followed him a little ways. It was acting really funny so we stopped again twice. We tried charging the battery and jumping it and eventually just left it in a parking lot. (It was a little funny…I don’t drive a stick and at one point he got it running with me in the driver’s seat and I had this moment of sheer panic not knowing what to do and kind of weakly yelling back at him “now what!?”)
We got to the house and started to put groceries away just as the sun was setting. I told him to leave it, took his hand, and led him out to the patio; I sat with my head on his shoulder waiting for it. His phone went off and he told me that I wasn’t allowed to look at his phone or any emails he got for the next couple of days. Why? Because something might be shipping. I crumbled. I told him I thought this was going to be it and he sympathetically told me that he wouldn’t want it to be that day since I started out annoyed with him. Good thinking, I guess.
Last Wednesday, he suggested we go out for dinner, as the next few weekends would be busy and there might not be much time for it. The places he suggested are in a neighboring town that he’s not very fond of (it’s a bit snooty) so I kind of wondered if something was up. When I saw him all dressed up, I knew it was. He said he just wanted to try on his new work clothes.
During the drive, he turned down toward a little park. I asked what he was doing and he said we had some time to kill. Then he opened up the trunk and got out. I turned around and saw him put a little black box in his pocket. When I stepped out of the car he gave me a dozen red roses, then we started walking down a pathway toward the water.
We got to the end of the pathway and stood there for a few minutes looking out at the water. Then he dropped to one knee and pulled out the ring. I think I probably just stood there grinning like an idiot. He said "Well Laura, I love you and I want to be with you forever." And because I'm weird and get uncomfortable in situations like that, I said "Forever ever?" He told me at least until Thursday. Somewhere in there he did actually ask me to marry him, but I think I was too caught up in feeling awkward for it to really register.
While we were walking back to the car, he pointed out that I didn't actually say yes. Silly boy. As if there was ever any doubt.
