Reactions

The claws come out

It's been interesting, to say the least, to tell people that I'm moving to Alaska. I've been especially nervous to tell my siblings and some close friends, I kind of assumed most people would tell me I was insane. 

I finally sent my siblings an email last week. Yes, an email...remember how I have that embarrassing personality trait of being kind of a pussy. Plus, there are a lot of them and it was the easiest way to get them all at once. Two of my sisters replied right away with at least a little congratulations and excitement. 

I didn't hear anything from the other two for a day, then two, then more. I started to feel a little bad about it; even if they didn't agree, moving to Alaska is kind of a big deal. 
Then my mom told me they'd been contacting her. Telling her that they're worried, they can't believe I'm considering it, couldn't we get engaged and plan a wedding before I go out there?
I know that it's a pretty big risk and they haven't been privy to all of the details, but as one sister pointed out...it may be crazy but it's my decision! I really appreciated that. (Thanks, sister. <3)

It almost bothered me more that they contacted my mom instead of me. I'm not sure any of us have followed the conventional, traditional route, so it seems a little hypocritical and unfair to judge me. Granted, I know they're concerned and just want me to be happy and healthy. 

It's a bit worse with the contrast of some people I've worked with for the last five-ish years. Work relationships are interesting; you spend the majority of your time with these people and, without necessarily meaning to, you can grow pretty close to them. 
Many of them remember when Soldier and I dated previously. Some don't, and are just excited and/or jealous of the adventure I'm embarking on. Those were the responses that made me start to feel like it was okay; that taking chance wasn't the worst thing I could do. 

Now, I could tell them that he's been unbelievably amazing, and I have. But come on, how well would you believe your sibling about that? The logical part of me completely sees the concern and question. The emotional part of me just wants them to be happy for me. He's it, he's always been it, since I first saw those hypnotizing eyes. Kind of like my life was there. 
Ugh. Sorry. I'm getting all mushy. Gross.

So, ultimately, I love my family with everything I have. But I also love Soldier with everything I have. (Ick.) It's hard to have those conflicting. The disapproval isn't stopping me from going. The only times I second-guess it is when I get those bits...I hate feeling like I've disappointed my siblings. 

Okay, okay, I think you get it. There are a lot of feels going around with all the stuff that's happening. Not funzies. Add in allergy season. Kill me in the face. 

On the plus side, moving is supposed to be one of the most difficult life decisions for a couple. So after this, we'll be invincible.