Hacks and Networks

The health fight

I guess this is the first normal post I've written in a while. It's not really a good one...I'm having another pity party. For most of the time while we've been up here, my body has been cooperating. In June, one of the knees started acting up a little bit, but nothing too bad that I couldn't ignore it. Cause you know how much I'd rather ignore things than go to the doctor, especially up here. (Background: I had been seeing a Nurse Practitioner who didn't completely instill me with confidence. She moved away and they switched me to an MD but I hadn't seen/met her till last week). 
A few weeks ago, the other knee, not to be outdone, started ballooning. So, off I went to the doctor. It...wasn't...great. She just seemed unsure, and kept referring to me if labs/diagnostics/treatments were okay with me and something I wanted to do. To which, multiple times, I told her that she knows more than me in the situation and if she thought I needed it I would do it. So she ordered blood work, Xrays, some steroids, and a referral to a rheumatologist. 

Off I went to get my blood drawn. I also had to do a pee test, and the tech (yeah, I know she was a phlebotomist, but tech is easier) asked if I had already done it. I said no, and she said we'd do it on the way out. Cool, done that before, no big deal. She stabbed me and took my blood...all good. I was washing my hands after the other test and thought my arm felt weird so I pulled up my sweatshirt and...BLOOD. BLOOD EVERYWHERE. Well, everywhere on the gauze. So I went back in and was like "Hey, no big deal, just bleeding profusely teehee." And she was like "Oh no it's cool, this is pretty common!" UMM NO, ma'am, thank you, this has literally NEVER happened to me. And that should not be common! WTF, Juneau! 

So, okay. Not feeling great about the new doctor, but I'm gonna trust her and her knowledge. She ordered 10mg of steroids for 5 days, which I thought seemed like not much, but you know...trust. I started it and they seemed to help marginally and then nothing. 
Next up: referral. It's a bit complicated because Southeast Alaska doesn't have any rheumatologists. and if you remember from previous posts, Juneau might as well be an island. So the options are Anchorage or Seattle, which both require a flight out (spoiler: Seattle). I had Soldier call the insurance company to see what they would cover and of course they'll cover in-network doctors, but not travel.  WTF DO I HAVE INSURANCE FOR. So sure, you pay in on the premise that we'll help with medical expenses, and you're in a position where you have no choice but to buy a plane ticket to get to a specialist, but FUCK YOU. CAUSE WE CAN. Soldier and I are lucky, because we're in a position where we can pay for this and flights are cheap right now. What if we couldn't afford it? What would I do? I'm pretty sure the people who think our health system is great just don't ever need it.

And last step: Xrays. Oops, I mean Xray. One single picture. That's fine, it's fine. Kind of funny even. It was a standing up picture and the tech thought my knee was an inch below my hip, but it's cool, no worries. 
They processed the pic very quickly and called today to let me know that oh there's just some arthritic damage and it's fine, we're not going to worry about it. Oh thanks guys, that's super cool! I'm just not going to worry about the ongoing and lasting damage going on in my (probably) most used joints! During the call, I let them know that the steroids didn't work. I expected them to give me another option, another round, have me come in for more tests, something. NOPE. The doctor decided that more steroids weren't going to work and I should just talk to a rheumatologist about changing my regular meds. OH MY GOSH, THANK YOU SO MUCH INTELLIGENT DOCTOR. 

Things may have changed, but when I started on these meds they told me that the next step in treatment would be chemo. C.H.E.M.O. So if you, as a medical professional, are telling me that my next option is legit poison, you better have exhausted every other fucking alternative there is. Every...single...one. Not just "Oooh...I dunno! Not my problem, good luck! Hehehe"  

I think this is harder because of the treatment I had back home. I loved my doctors. I completely trusted them and honestly believed they had my best interest in mind and knew what they were doing. For the 2 years we've been here I've felt like I've been scraping at the bottom of the barrel trying to get these people to have the smallest bit of concern and expertise in my health and well-being. 

As always, guess what's the absolute worst thing for disease? Stress. But what's a girl to do? I can't really not be stressed by this. And the best part is that I get to wait 3 weeks to see someone who is actually (fingers crossed) competent. But then what? I certainly don't know. 

Oof. I dug myself into a sad, sleepy, vodka fueled sadness. I can't even come up with a witty ending. So...I'm sorry. I guess the good news might be more snarky/bitchy/whiny posts. Yay for you!