196 Books: El Salvador

Senselessness by Horacio Castellanos Moya


El Salvador is in the middle of Central America:

Honestly I didn't really know where it was. 


Summary:
A boozing, sex-obsessed writer finds himself employed by the Catholic Church (an institution he loathes) to proofread a 1,100 page report on the army's massacre and torture of thousands of indigenous villagers a decade earlier, including the testimonies of the survivors. The writer's job is to tidy it up: he rants, "that was what my work was all about, cleaning up and giving a manicure to the Catholic hands that were piously getting ready to squeeze the balls of the military tiger." Mesmerized by the strange Vallejo-like poetry of the Indians' phrases ("the houses they were sad because no people were inside them"), the increasingly agitated and frightened writer is endangered twice over: by the spell the strangely beautiful heart-rending voices exert over his tenuous sanity, and by real danger—after all, the murderers are the very generals who still run this unnamed Latin American country.

The first thing I noticed about this book is that the author was apparently trying to see how few periods he could use. I'm not being dramatic-he would use half a page with one sentence. Dude, if you have to use twenty commas, you need to revise. It seriously stressed me out. Then I realized how short the book was and decided I could suck it up. 

The mental anguish of having to proof the report seemed very real, and through the villagers' phrases, you could absolutely imagine how it would take a toll. He became obsessed with relaying these phrases to others and wanting them to see the beauty in them. He wasn't a terribly likable character. But as far as the real danger...I didn't get that feeling till the very end. It seemed more like the narrator was just becoming really paranoid. 

As I looked more into it people said that the unnamed Latin American country was most likely Guatemala. So not only was it a mediocre book, it wasn't even set in the right country. I really need to do better at vetting them. 

I also had kind of a wave of tiredness come over me when I sat down (on the floor of a sad, mostly empty room since we're in the process of moving) to write this. Why am I doing it? Who cares? I guess it's kind of a way to keep track of the books I've read, but really I could just make a list of them. I dunno. I'm in a funk right now because of the move and everything else that's going on in the world, so I'm not going to stop doing all this right now. But we'll see. Time to vet some new books I guess. 

It's the End of the World as We Know It

And I feel...


Well, there's been a lot of shit happening. Let's go in sections. 


The Virus

As someone with a useless immune system who also works at a hospital (didn't really think that one through, now did I?), this thing terrifies me. Each time I tried to write a post about it, I got to this point of despair and just closed my laptop. Soldier told me I could quit my job. My siblings tried earnestly to convince me not to go to work. But I kept going and walked into the security theater (as Soldier calls it) of taking temperatures at the point of entry. One day my temp came up at 90 degrees. That's lower than the point of hypothermia...but I didn't have a fever so it was fine. And apparently nobody cared that the thermometers were obviously wildly inaccurate. We stopped allowing visitors which was weird at first but we quickly started to enjoy. My unit was closed for maybe 2 months? The time has all run together in my head. In that time I went to other units and got more comfortable and made lots of new friends. Actually, our area wasn't hit too hard. We've been lucky. 
But with things opening back up, I'm now more scared than I was in the beginning. People have gotten stir crazy and they think that wearing a mask or simply giving people space is an inconvenience and somehow stepping on their civil liberties. Is this happening in other countries? I'm so disappointed in this country. Yesterday we went out for the first time since things started opening up. We thought a winery would be safe--outside options and gorgeous weather. But it turned out the place was huge, and completely packed. Almost nobody wore masks (admittedly I didn't either, though I usually do). I tried to keep my distance from others in line but people would cut through or butt up behind me. My chest felt tight and I honestly thought I was going to have a panic attack. Thankfully we gave up after about 10 minutes. 
I'm torn between wanting to have the latest information and wanting to bury my head in the sand. And I'm terrified that this will never go away. I'm worried that the "new normal" (I hate that phrase) will be fear to go out in public, no more shopping, only getting takeout, doing what I can to spend all my time holed up at home. There are lots of people here who think the old and immuno-compromised should just stay home if they're scared and let the rest of the world get back to the way they want it. They don't care that this is what it means. Oof. Time to move on. 


Black Lives Matter

How are we still having to do this? It seems like the revolution has finally come, and it's about damn time. I know I've spent too long being silent. I'm making an effort to educate myself, to speak up, and to be a better ally. 
We live in a pretty conservative area, and some of the people I work with are pretty racist, though of course they don't think so. I'm trying to speak up and show them how their words matter. So far it hasn't gotten through to them. 
We also have a lot of people who are doubling down on support for the police, the whole "what about black on black crime" argument, and "well if they would just follow the law this wouldn't happen." You didn't ask for it, but here's my opinion: the police should be held to a higher standard than the average citizen. This is a job they chose: to protect people. They can choose to walk away from the job if they can't do that. Oh, but police officers are people and they make mistakes too. Bullshit. Putting your knee on someone's neck is not a mistake. Shooting someone who's walking away or sitting in their car is not a mistake. Pushing down elderly people with your plastic shields is not a mistake. Spraying pepper spray at a person who's on the ground in the fetal position is not a mistake. And there are countless other examples. And if you don't think 8 minutes and 46 seconds is an eternity, set an alarm for that amount of time and just sit. And then imagine someone kneeling on your neck for that long. 

Sorry, I have a lot of rage on this point. It's heartbreaking that we keep treating people of color as less than, and I don't understand how anyone can not be outraged at it. People of color have been fighting their entire lives. It's time for the rest of us to put in the work. 

The Rest

Soldier found out a few months ago he was being transferred. So on top of the Covid stuff, we've been trying to sell the house and get ready for the move to a new state. Luckily Soldier has been on furlough so he had lots of time to do work on the house. He was a rock star! He fully redid 2 bathrooms, put new flooring in 2 bedrooms, reroofed both of our garages, touched up paint on the outside of the house, recemented the walkout stairs, built a railing for the deck stairway, and redid a bunch of wiring, on top of a hundred small things. I'm so lucky to have him! 
Trying to sell the house went much better than I expected--we had SO much interest in it! Which is great, but then you've got 50 strangers rummaging through your house, leaving all their germs. I was a nervous wreck. Also we have automatic locks-you just put in a code instead of using a key-and for some reason these realtors could. not. figure out how to use them. It was baffling. 
People at work keep asking me if I'm excited and, honestly, I'm not. It's just tiring. It feels like we just got here and made this place our own. In the short time we've been here, we've made so many memories. And now we have to pack up, downsize back into an apartment, and figure out what our next move is. 

So, that's life here for the time being. Just trying to navigate each day in this hellscape that is our world. Nah, it's not all bad. I keep trying to focus on the positives, and I'm really trying to make a commitment to be a better ally and a better person in general. 

196 Books: Egypt

No One sleeps in Alexandria by Ibraham Abdel Meguid

You should know where Egypt is. It's here:

The summary is here:
This sweeping novel depicts the intertwined lives of an assortment of Egyptians -- Muslims and Copts, northerners and southerners, men and women -- as they begin to settle in Egypt's great second city, and explores how the Second World War, starting in supposedly faraway Europe, comes crashing down on them, affecting their lives in fateful ways. Central to the novel is the story of a striking friendship between Sheikh Magd al-Din, a devote Muslim with peasant roots in Northern Egypt, and Dimyan, a Copt with roots in Southern Egypt, in their journey of survival and self-discovery. Woven around this narrative are the stories of other characters, in the city, in the villages, or in the faraway desert,


When I was looking into books for Egypt, there were like 3 of them that sounded SO good. I love that. I love having to choose between a bunch of books that sound amazing. And apparently I'm really into books set during WW2. 
I thought this one sounded great because I normally think of the war in terms of Europe and a little bit of Asia. But of course it was a WORLD war. 

I really liked reading about the impact the war had on different areas of the world. There were soldiers coming up from other parts of Africa, and the war being fought in Egypt. One thing I didn't expect was the feeling of wanting Germany and Italy to win. Nothing was said about Jewish people being murdered...but it turns out Egypt was pretty much under British rule at the time so it kinda makes sense that they wanted the British to be screwed. It was also really interesting to see the relationships between the Muslims and Copts (a Christian denomination...I didn't know that). It's complicated. Or was? I'm not sure. I do wonder sometimes how historically accurate these books are. I should really do more research into this stuff. 
The relationships and situations in this book were complex and interesting. It was great. 

I've also noticed with each book, I've felt the need to make excuses on how long it took me to read. But I've started realizing that instead of making excuses, I need to hold myself accountable and put in the work (not just talking about books here now). So I'll be trying harder to read them faster. And this weekend I'm planning on making a post about everything that's been going on in the world. I've tried to a couple of times and haven't been able to get through it. And, not that anyone really cares about my thoughts, but it's time. I'm trying to learn and grow and be better. You should too!

196 Books: Ecuador

Poso Wells by Gabriela Aleman

Ecuador is in the northwest part of South America:

Here's the summary:

In the squalid settlement of Poso Wells, women have been regularly disappearing, but the authorities have shown little interest. When the leading presidential candidate comes to town, he and his entourage are electrocuted in a macabre accident witnessed by a throng of astonished spectators. The sole survivor—next in line for the presidency—inexplicably disappears from sight.

Gustavo Varas, a principled journalist, picks up the trail, which leads him into a violent, lawless underworld. Bella Altamirano, a fearless local, is on her own crusade to pierce the settlement's code of silence, ignoring repeated death threats. It turns out that the disappearance of the candidate and those of the women are intimately connected, and not just to a local crime wave, but to a multinational magnate's plan to plunder the country's cloud forest preserve.

One issue I'm running into right now is the limits of book availability. I'm pretty much just going for what's on Kindle or Nook, so it doesn't necessarily match up with the books on my list. Sometimes that turns out well, as in this case. 

I definitely grew up pampered, so when I can learn about those less fortunate I feel like it's a good lesson. I know, poor me. Anyway this area is like a super slum, and underneath there are all these tunnels. Somehow living in those tunnels are these 5 blind men who have kidnapped the women and then decide to take over the world or something. To be honest I would have liked information about these guys. How did they end up in the tunnels? How did they go blind? How did they start this five person cult? 

Actually there were a few other things I would have liked to know more from the story. The candidate that gets kidnapped and then roped into the cult--how did they convince him? I would have liked more on what happened after the story line of trying to plunder the countryside.  

But honestly this was an interesting book. I'm glad I had to do a little more research and find something different.  

196 Books: East Timor

The Crossing by Luis Cardoso

This is East Timor:

This is the book summary:
East Timor hit the world’s newspaper headlines in August 1999 after its bloody, brave vote for independence from Indonesia—one of the great expressions of a people’s democratic spirit. Exquisitely crafted and evocative, Luis Cardoso’s personal history of his homeland takes as its central image a crossing—from child to adult, Portuguese to Timorese, tolerance to repression, colonialism to independence.


So...yeah. There's a bit of shit going on right now. I could not focus on this book...basically at all. I've actually written a post about everything a couple of times, but each time I get about halfway in the heaviness of it hits me and I have to stop. 

But because of that I don't have much to say about this one. It didn't engage me enough to take my mind off of everything else. It didn't clearly tell where the story was taking place at each point so I had a hard time visualizing everything. Apparently East Timor was a place of exile. Honestly the most interesting parts were him talking about his dad who was a nurse. I think they ended up in East Timor for his dad to take care of people? It wasn't really clear if the family went for that or were actually exiled. Then somehow he ended up in Portugal, I think, but none of it was clear. 
And that's it. I'm ready to move on to Ecuador. 

196 Books: Dominican Republic

Tentacle by Rita Indiana 

This is the Dominican Republic. Again, not the same as Dominica. 

Here's the summary:
Plucked from her life on the streets of post-apocalyptic Santo Domingo, young maid Acilde Figueroa finds herself at the heart of a voodoo prophecy: only she can travel back in time and save the ocean – and humanity – from disaster. But first she must become the man she always was – with the help of a sacred anemone. Tentacle is an electric novel with a big appetite and a brave vision, plunging headfirst into questions of climate change, technology, Yoruba ritual, queer politics, poverty, sex, colonialism and contemporary art. Bursting with punk energy and lyricism, it’s a restless, addictive trip: The Tempest meets the telenovela.


This one was cool. It took a little bit for me to get into it, but then it got really exciting. With so many of these books I'm just baffled at how these authors weave these stories from their minds. 
There were, I think, 3 different timelines. It confused me for a bit but they all came together towards the end. In each of the timelines, Acilde has a different identity. And one of those identities kind of directs the others. But then the main identity runs into the opportunity to change the future and save the sea. No brainer, right? Maybe. He starts to think: if he takes that chance, will that nullify his existence? And he has a REALLY good life.
So he chooses...I'm not telling! For once, no spoilers. 

The beginning of the book was kind of hard to get into because there was a lot of sex work and rape. And the rape is kind of just glossed over by the characters, which I really didn't like. 

Otherwise this was a good, engaging, relatively quick read. 
And finally I'm onto the Es! I'm off to the library tomorrow to pick up the next one!

196 Books: Dominica

Black and White Sands by Elma Napier

This little guy is Dominica:

And this little guy is the summary:
Elma Napier's remarkable memoir chronicles her love affair with Dominica. It began in 1932 when she turned her back on London's high society to build a home in Calibishie, then a remote village on Dominica's north coast.

There are tales of bohemian house parties, of war and death, smugglers and servants and, above all, of stories inspired by her political life as the only woman in a colonial parliament, her love for the island's turbulent landscapes and her curiosity about the lives and culture of its people.

I will admit, embarrassed, that I did not really know Dominica was a thing. I've heard of the Dominican Republic; if I've heard of Dominica before I probably thought they were the same place. 
It was neat, but also a little sad, to read about the island becoming more modernized. I'm sure what's there today is a far cry from the jungly island she lived in. 

Kind of like The Lion Children that I read for Botswana, I wonder what makes people decide to leave their life and country behind and randomly start somewhere new. Also what amount of money you have to do that. Napier does seem to be more aware of the privilege she has (which makes sense, they were children). Although I started the book with a bit of a laugh as it described a bit from her first book, "...of her early years, evokes what she called the 'casual cruelty of childhood' often confined to a lonely existense with governesses (and 30 indoor servants), and leavened by her love for exploring moors, forest and sea." Let's see. She was born in 1892. So while she was growing up all sad with her life of exploration and servants waiting on her, millions of other kids were working most of the day and being maimed or killed on the job. So, not exactly a rough life. 

Here were some of the other highlights, parts I found interesting just because they show how different the world is today. For instance, the remedies for and attitudes toward sickness: "For the first four years I myself was immune [to malaria], and then attacked no more than every six months, which I looked on as slimming." I mean I guess it's slimming if it doesn't kill you. There was also the passage about a man who was impotent. (Why she's having this conversation with the doctor, I have no idea.) "The doctor told him that it would be possible to give hormone injections but that these would be extremely expensive. 'No matter,' he said. 'Union will pay.' And the doctor told me that it did." I'll spare you my rant on the patriarchy and its never-ending obsession for making sure men can have all the sex while policing women's bodies. 

It was also interesting to know what was happening on the island during WWII. As an American, you kind of think of it as an "over there" sort of thing (even with Hawaii having been attacked). British territories and colonies (or whatever the technical term is) don't really register to you. But after the attack on Pearl Harbor, Dominican boats were sunk by the enemy. They also worried about blacking out windows at night so they wouldn't be bombed. 

Man I love history. Getting one person's account is so interesting and intimate. Also I want to be on an island right now.