And fire is on my tongue.
Ugh. Valentine's Day. I hate this time of year. I don't think I ever even liked it when I was in a relationship. This year I have a different tactic--I'm celebrating 'Merica. Merica! Well...kinda. I think I've mentioned that I was born out of the country. Well, my report and certificate of birth abroad were both signed on February 14, so I feel like that's kind of another birthday. So instead of celebrating Valentine's Day, I'm celebrating Naturalization Day. Merica!
Transition!
I had a new development this afternoon. My friend Wonder Woman (yup, I'm going there) put up a cool event on her facebook. Oh wait, I should probably mention she's also the awesome gal who wanted to do the pin-up photo shoot for her birthday. She always does the coolest stuff! She found this photographer who's doing a women's empowerment photo shoot, and I get to be her guest. What that means is it'll be a bunch of women in underwear getting their picture taken. The catch is that you have to come up with why you love you; why you think you're valuable. It's not a super new concept, but I think it's awesome. I'm so excited to be joining it!
So I thought for a long time about what my card would say. (Oh fine, not a long time. A few hours. But it's this Saturday so I didn't have a ton of time anyway. And if you've learned anything about me, it's that I worry a ridiculous amount, mostly needlessly. Shut up and let me get on with the story.) It wasn't that I couldn't come up with any ideas...I came up with a lot of ideas. But I wanted something really good. I've had a lot of ups and downs in my life, and I'm pretty happy with the person I've become...it's hard to come up with a small description of all that. I think I've got it though.
"I keep going. Each day--happy, sad, tired, strong, weak, crazy, especially the days I want to give up--I keep going and make the day mine."
That might not seem like much, but it means a lot to me. I thought about a lot of little things, but that kind of covered it all. There have been a lot of days where I've wanted to give up, but I somehow always keep going. The "keep going" encompasses a lot...putting effort into my work, empathy for people, being there for others, forgiving and admitting wrongness...I'm proud of all that stuff. That was really the best fit, and it might not even make sense to anyone else. But it makes sense, and means a lot, to me.
Transition!
More new developments. I got a seriously random email today. It's from a guy I've never actually met. Oh, backstory. When I was a case manager, I had a client who wanted to set me up with their son. I agreed to talk to him, and we'd email back and forth. That petered out after a while (my fault, I was going through a lot of stuff and didn't want that to deal with). We started chatting again (well that's a trend) last fall and were supposed to get together when he was home for Christmas. And then, he disappeared. It was right up to where we were making some plans a few weeks beforehand. I didn't try to contact him, because I figured he'd talk to me if he wanted to, but I also started to wonder if something happened.
Back to tonight...I got an email that he's in town and asked me to dinner tomorrow. I think I'm declining...I really need some extra sleep. Plus Valentine's is stupid and all that.
Ah...life always seems to send me tricky little surprises like that. But, at least I have the ability to keep going.
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