Monday, December 7, 2015

Etiquette and the Modern Wedding

Please come help us celebrate the time, money, stress, and love we've put into our marriage ceremony...that you'll still find something wrong with. 

Have I bitched about wedding planning enough? I've been putting off the invite list stuff and finally delved into it today. I have so many annoyances with it. 

I would be fine with having about 20 people at the wedding. Immediate family, close friends, done. Granted, I knew Soldier's mom would want to invite a lot of people. I was a little aghast when we finally got her list though...I think it had around 180 people on it. Well that was a big no (although a handful of them were already on our list), but I made Soldier go through it because I didn't feel it was my place to make cuts. I haven't had the energy or guts to send the updated list back out, and I don't relish that day. 

I did hear one end of a conversation Soldier had with the 'rents about how there was an "obligation" for them to invite people. I may have stared open-mouthed, aghast and possibly a little ragey. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bit callous, but I don't feel that there's at all an obligation to invite anyone to a personal, intimate event. Plus, whose wedding is it again? In her defense, Mama-in-Law has offered to pay for it. However, to me, that means I might have to give up some control, which you all know I'm not prepared for. Seriously, it's a little concerning sometimes. 

Update: it's about 3:30 in the afternoon and I've opened a bottle of wine. At least I made it past noon?

Soldier and I made an agreement that this is a big deal, we want to focus on our life together, and we want to share it with people we know and love. For a while, I wasn't even sure I was going to invite all of my aunts and uncles. I think it might be out of the ordinary; we've never been super close with extended family. On my dad's side, there was a bit of a falling out a few years ago and he hasn't spoken with his siblings a whole lot since then. My mum's side is a bit trickier: for a long time her sisters didn't want much to do with her. (There's a whole family history there, don't think my mom's anything less than amazing.) A while back they all started to catch back up and make up for lost time, so she asked me to invite them, if only to make the gesture. I'm not sure I've ever met my aunts, but I'm good with sending the invitation, and I'd be happy to have them there to begin a relationship. And that's about it. The number on my parent's list was around 10 or 12. That I can live with. 

Now I'm getting around to collecting addresses and figuring out the correct way to write them on the envelopes and everything and you know what? Why? Who cares? I'm over here stressing out over the Mr/Mrs/Ms, the Dr, the correct way to add significant others and children, aaand cue the auto-immune that heartless bitch. 
And, unfortunately, I'll continue to stress, because I'm sure I'll get shit from somebody. 

On a happier note, all is right in the world because Soldier made me a freaking giraffe onesie. This is why you marry someone. 

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