Secret Santa

Santa stays secret when you're the one who brought the shitty present

Raise your hand if you've missed the crazy stories. This one's (well, two, I think) for you!

For the past few years, one of Soldier's coworkers has held a Secret Santa Christmas party, and this year's was held last night. There's always a bit of anxiety with getting a Secret Santa present unless everyone knows each other really well. Soldier has only been working with this group for a couple of months, and there were still some of them I hadn't met, so we were both a little nervous.

We drew two names, one guy and one girl. Soldier had an idea for the guy, but he was leaving the other for me. I was a bit irritated; I'd only met her once. I went through all the girly stuff at the store and put together a nice spa bag for the $50 limit. And with that kind of limit, you kind of assume that everyone should get pretty nice, thoughtful gifts. I'm sure you can see where this is going.

We got there and had some food and drinks...which reminds me...there were these buffalo chicken stuffed muffins that I need to get the recipe for. They were scrumptious. So much yumminess in my mouth.
Everyone was chatting and having a good time, I think we'd all been there for a couple of hours by the time we opened presents. Someone awful decided we all had to go one by one. Oh yay. I was toward the end of the group, dreading my turn because everyone would be staring at me. There were some really cool gifts, some funny ones, and a couple that were a bit more inappropriate. My turn came and Soldier had to help me get the ribbons off...they were tied really tightly and I was already nervous from people looking at me.

I got the wrappings off to reveal...a bottle of Riesling. I don't mean to sound ungrateful (too late, I do now!), but it's about a $10 bottle. I know that somebody had asked Soldier for tips or ideas for me, and he'd said that I'm girly. Not a lot to go on, but really? A bottle of cheap white wine was the best possible option? Not gonna lie, I was kinda disappointed. Well, I can't be a frigid bitch so I tried to act like it was cool. Suh not kewl.

***

Back to eating and drinking. At one point, the Hostess decided that we were new bffs and we needed to chat. Well okay, everybody likes to be liked. So we went to her room and sat on her gloriously comfy bed. But then she started talking about her love triangle...or square. I already knew part of the story, but I really don't want to be in the midst of all the details.
Here's the short version: there was a guy (duh) she was with...I'm not sure if it was actual romantic or just sex.
Honestly, when I met this guy I deemed him a Frat Boy. Soldier told me I was wrong, but he totally is. He's good looking and is constantly working out, has a constantly pouty look on his face, kind of mumbles everything he says, and is angsty. He's a Frat Boy.
So Girl B came into the picture and became the girlfriend. I'm not sure if there was a bit of dabbling with both women but whatever. Girl B was dismissed in a rather public manner, and I believe Hostess stepped back in. Someone else wanted to start dating Girl B and respectfully asked Frat Boy if he was okay with it. He was. But then he decided that he wanted her back. His plan to win her was by berating her. And she agreed so he'd stop. Because that's how healthy relationships work.

Hostess is telling me that now the Frat Boy is bothering her and she just wants it to stop. Good God it was uncomfortable. I didn't know what to say, especially because I've heard different versions of the situation.

While we were chatting, some of the guys kept coming in and telling us to get back to the party. Then one of the guys, in kind of a weird way, decided he would stand guard so we could talk. After a while Hostess started feeling ill, and everyone was getting ready to leave. The only thing left was to pack up and head home...or so I thought.