169 Books: Afghanistan

The Kite Runner

These are my thoughts as I'm reading. Warning: there may be spoilers. 

• This is a really nice story. I'm sure it won't last.
• Aaaand there it is. Jesus, kid, it's a freaking kite.
• I always have to wonder a bit about the people who write this stuff solely from their imagination. Although I suppose it could be from real life. But...really? Is that how it works in some countries?
• It's getting really hard to like this protagonist. And a little bit his father, too. These two need therapy. 
• Seriously, this kid is a dick. 
• WHY is there so much ass rape?!?!
• When Kamal's dad is screaming that his son won't breathe I totally pictured Cedric Diggory's dad from HP Goblet of Fire. It always comes back to Harry Potter.
• And now Baba sounds a bit like Donald Trump. Charming.
• I'm actually really excited that Amir got a Grand Turino. I finally saw that movie a couple of weeks ago. Oh Clint Eastwood, you courageous son of a bitch. 
• Alright, Amir is becoming more endearing as he's growing up.
• Awww, he's in looooove!
• I love the way lovers are described in books. I wonder if Soldier ever looks at me with that kind of admiration. I look at him that way. I'm still in awe sometimes that I get to spend my life with him.
• Cancer?! Oh come on!
• The dad's kind of a dick too.Stubborn old git.
• Ugh. I'm a sucker for a good love story.
• I truly hope I never have to see someone I love go through cancer. What an awful, debilitating parasite. 
• Oh. Oh my word. That wedding part was beautiful. And his dad is finally proud of him!
• And then sad again. I'm not gonna lie, I teared up between the wedding and Baba's death.
• Oh Lord. Okay I read this kind of stuff and I can't help but think about my parents dying eventually (hopefully in a very, very long time). I don't care that I'm 30, I would still be absolutely lost without them. 
• If this is true to Afghan life and customs, it's really sad. Like I may not have made it. But I suppose you have to deal with the cards you're handed. 
• I like the wife, she's sassy. 
• I really like that he gets to see his/his father's old again, but I don't like that another person is dying.
• The plot thickens! I just told Soldier I wanted to finish the chapter, then sheepishly asked if he minded me reading another one. This book is hard to put down. 
• Oh my gosh, Hassan is the sweetest character in the history of ever. He just cares about his best friend. 
• As a Catholic this may be a bad thing to say, but I kind of like the tradition of passing under the Koran for all these important events. I'm not sure why...it just seems kind of peaceful. 
• There's a lot of talk about babies. I don't really like it...it makes me think about how much I want babies and what I'll do if we can't have them. I don't like to think about it but it's in the back of my mind a lot of the time. I can't really talk to Soldier about it...there are a lot of feeling type issues that he's pretty nonchalant about. But it is something I actually worry about. 
• It's weird to read the story from the Afghan perspective. But really, if the Taliban killed Hassan, I'm going to have to stop reading for a while. 
• NO.
• OH MY GOSH. THIS JUST GOT SO MUCH WORSE. IT WAS HIS BROTHER. 
• Well I hope he and his wife adopt their nephew.
• Oh taliban, and sharia law. The computer wants me to capitalize taliban, and I say nay. 
• Oh come on. The taliban took the nephew? Of course. Ugh. 
• This can't end well. 
• Oh you've gotta be freaking kidding me! I don't like this story anymore. I can't believe the big bad taliban guy is the original bully. 
• Well that was kind of graphic. 
• Crying again. This is crazy and tragic and beautiful all in one. 
• I know it would be more happy-ending-ish, but I'm kind of glad the adoption wasn't easy. It's a bit more realistic that way. 
• WHAT. WHY. WHY WOULD HE WRITE THIS. THIS IS AWFUL. 
• The pain of all these people is heartbreaking. 
• Ah, there's the happy ending.

Okay, first book in the challenge. I'm SO glad I started with this. I've kept hearing what a good book it is and kind of shied away from it after seeing some of the worst parts of the movie. (Like I knew the first ass rape was coming). 

This was an absolutely amazing story, and I had a hard time putting it down, except to collect myself after some of the sadder parts. And I surprisingly liked not entirely being able to tell if it was a true story...granted, it would be pretty miraculous if it was, but still. If you haven't read The Kite Runner, I definitely recommend it. Just have some tissues handy. 

169 Books

Reading my way around the world.

Today I started a challenge I've been excited about for a while. It combines some of my favorite things: reading, and learning about different cultures/living vicariously through the author. 
So with that, I'll be reading a book from every country. Every. Single. Country. 169 of them. It sounds like a lot, but I read just about every day so I don't know why it seems like a lot.

I found a blog from someone who did this challenge, so I'm using her list, which gives book options for most countries. And I guess if the book doesn't sound interesting, I'll search for my own. 

A couple of people on Facebook asked if this meant the book is set in that country, or if the author is from that country and, honestly, I don't know. But I'd rather it be set in that country so I can learn about different places. And I think I'll post a sort of review of each book on here when I finish it. My inner nerd is doing cartwheels with this. 

First up is Afghanistan: The Kite Runner. I think many people read this in high school, and I'm not sure how I didn't. If I remember correctly, that would have been my senior year and I was in advanced English. We were given choices for summer reading, and I think that just wasn't one of the ones I picked. So anyway, it's time now. 
Although I think I may have seen the movie, or part of the movie, and if it's the one I'm thinking of it was really sad. I'm bracing myself for that. 

So I'll keep all of you lovelies updated on my journey round the world whether you care or not. And for my readers in different countries, if you have a favorite book set in your country send it my way. 

Now my inner nerd has stopped doing cartwheels and wants to go back to reading.

The World According to Laura

The small world of Juneau.

1. Most importantly, it's pronounced like the goddess Juno, but spelled Juneau. Maybe it's French or something. 
2. Though it's the capital of Alaska, it's very isolated; there are no roads going in or out.
3. Because just about everything has to be imported, it's really expensive. This includes things you would expect to be cheap, like salmon. Because they're sent to the mainland to be processed. Because that makes sense. 
4. Alaska is really, really big. So Anchorage, the biggest city, is about 800 miles away. It may as well be in a different country. 
5. It's not that cold here. The weather is similar to Seattle, which means...
6. It rains all. the. time. But we did get some snow this winter.
7. It's kind of fascinating to watch the snow start at the top of the mountains and creep down to the ground.
8. We do not fall into permanent darkness in the winter. On the shorter days, we probably got 5 or 6 hours of sunlight. But it still completely throws you off when it's pitch black and 4 in the afternoon. 
9. The darkness and dreariness makes you lazy. It starts to feel like a chore to get up and do things.
10. Let's go back to the mountains...they make for some really good hiking (as I've mentioned in other posts) along with the rain forests and beaches.
11. Hiking on the mountains can give you a little bit of vertigo. It's a long way down.
12. Juneau has amazing hiking trails that are kept up really well. 
13. They (whoever "they" are) have also done a really good job of keeping wildlife protected from people and vice versa. Mostly bears. 
14. I have seen a disappointingly small number of bears. And by that I mean I've seen 1/2 of a bear.



15. There are porcupines, which are really big. I got charged by one the other day. Well, that might be a big exaggerated but he was waddling quite fiercely at me. I may or may not have instigated it by trying to take pictures of him. It was still a little scary.                     




<------The offender



16. There are eagles all over the place. 
17. They do not sound majestic: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlq2kcYQcLc
18. I know I've said it before, but the people are ridiculously nice.
19. Most of them aren't from Juneau, and it's fun to find out where people came from and what got them here.
20. There's a surprisingly large first-generation Asian population. 
21. This is definitely not a fashion capital; people really don't dress up much.

22. There's an obsession with Xtra Tuffs, which are basically ugly brown rain boots.                              I don't understand it:


23. I think you either have to be a little crazy to live here, or living here makes you a little bit crazy. Maybe both. 
24. I'll say it again: there are things about this place that suck, but there are also things about it that are really cool. 
25. I keep reminding myself that we're having an adventure. 

There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays

Home is wherever I'm with you

Soldier and I recently got back from visiting home for the holidays. We've decided not to do that again. It was insane and stressful trying to juggle family Christmas parties, seeing friends, and visiting his brother for New Year's. 

But, of course, it started with my flight curse. Soldier tried to tell me he always has good luck...I told him he was underestimating me. We made it out of The Last Frontier just fine. Then Seattle. We got to our gate and the flight was delayed; the plane we were supposed to take was stuck in San Diego. They had a new plane at the end of the gangway, but no crew. So we waited. And waited. Of course we were in a very isolated section of the airport and virtually everything was closed. Read: drinks would have made the wait a lot more tolerable. It was also the middle of the night (I think we landed at SEA at midnight) so everything felt way more awful. I just wanted to be sleeping, and I basically turn into a child when I'm tired. Poor Soldier. 
They finally announced that they were just waiting for a crew to come in and gave us a new arrival time at what would have been our second layover. I didn't think we would make it to the 3rd leg of the flight, Soldier thought we'd be able to book it through a huge hub in half an hour. Remember me basically being a whiny sleepy toddler? Yup. Soldier went to converse with the ladies at the ticket counter. He came back to let me know that we'd be ending the flying portion of our trip at the next layover and the airline would pay for us to rent a car. This was part woo! and part boo! The woo! was not having to try and run to a flight or sit in the airport for like 6 hours waiting for one. The boo! meant about 4 hours of driving, and no luggage. 

The plane finally left around 3:30 in the morning, and we did get some free wine out of it. Unfortunately, it didn't help me get to sleep like I was hoping. And after about 15 hours of travel, we made it into town in the midst of Soldier's side of family Christmas parties. Luckily our luggage was waiting for us at the door the next morning. 

The blur of late nights, early mornings, and wedding appointments began. We met with someone from the church, had a tasting for the reception, and I picked up my dress. I think I walked around like a zombie for at least half of the trip. After driving 2 hours each way to pick up my dress, Soldier and I drove another 2.5  hours to his brother's house for New Year's. Let's just say I don't think I was very pleasant by that point. 

My family's side of the Christmas parties was on the 2nd. Of course the whole fam couldn't be there, but it was really nice. My eldest sister sent a cookbook with some family favorites and some of her own, and I had a bit of a meltdown over that. Alaska is just so far away. We're having our adventure, but we'll be heading back down to the mainland as soon as we can. 

We got into town on the 27th and by the 3rd I was finally able to get some rest and have some free time. I got very lucky and cantored at church that Sunday, which made me super happy. Soldier and I went to brunch with his parents after, and I chatted with his mom almost the whole time. At their house after, she pulled out tons of wedding stuff for decorations and flowers and such. It was really, really nice and I felt like it was productive for us. I haven't been great with wedding planning and including others, and it was helpful for me to get more of an idea of what I want, and to see that it'll be perfectly okay to let go and let someone handle it who knows what they're doing. That was a really long sentence. 

I was really sad when we had to leave; I kept telling Soldier we should just stay. I started crying as our plane took off. It felt like we were crazy busy the whole time and didn't get as much quality time with the people we wanted. But, maybe that was good prep for the wedding. Cue the march. 

Secret Santa and the Holiday Shit Show

Starring the belligerent asshole who ruins the whole thing for everyone.

Everyone was getting ready to leave and I put on my coat, but was stopped on my way down to the door. A couple of the guys said that one of them was being somewhat ornery. Then I saw a hand trying to get the door back open and thought it was a joke. It was not. Let's call that particular gentleman Wedge...one of the simplest tools known to man. Soldier tossed up my boots; nobody thought the episode would last long. 

I don't remember exactly how long it took or if there was much of an issue, but myself and another girl walked out at the same time. Soldier got me settled into the car and went to help a couple of other guys help get Wedge into his car. I sat there for a few minutes and watched while Wedge tried to fight these three guys. Then I got irritated. I got out and kind of got in the middle, knowing he wasn't going to do anything to me. Needless to say, Soldier wasn't thrilled. 
Wedge just kept trying to get people to fight or hit him, and of course the guys fed into that. At one point one of the guys pushed him on the ground; there was a gross, dull thud and there was some blood from a cut on his forehead. I wouldn't at all be surprised if he got a concussion. 

Here's the "best" part of the story: Wedge and his wife had brought their two kids to the party. (Please notice that I made a conscious decision to put those quotation marks there. I fully understand the correct use of them, and their intent is to be sarcastic. Just in case anyone doesn't know how to use quotation marks properly. ...I feel strongly about it.)
So the kids are sitting in the van with all this going on. The baby was sleeping, but the other kid was awake and definitely old enough to know what was going on. Wedge's wife thought she could calm him down and asked if myself and the other girl would get the kids home. Neither of us had our phones (GPS), so we were following another car that would contain Wedge and his wife. According to the plan. 
By this time, I had completely lost track of (and interest in) Wedge's whereabouts. As we followed the other car, we came upon Wedge and the guys a block or so away...apparently he had tried to run away, though I'm not sure what he planned to do. After a struggle, they got him into the car and our two guys set about following us to the house. We tried to stay calm and reassuring for the kids, but I was pretty pissed about the whole situation. 

As we were driving along, we came to a red light and the car in front of us was shaking...which would have been funny in a different situation. They turned before the light turned green, and the other girl and I assumed something bad was happening. But we all made it to the house and we took the kids to bed while the guys wrestled with Wedge. Finally they got him inside and pinned on the couch. I stayed in his face and just talked to him, while the guys still tried to push it.
In my opinion, one of the biggest issues in situations like this is that people freak out. It makes everyone very tense, adrenaline stays high, and they get the reaction they want. When I was working with individuals who had developmental disabilities, our training was to stay calm when our clients were having behaviors. (Still have no idea why they called it that. Usually behaving means good, but that meant bad, sometimes very bad.) 

As one of the guys was leaving, he punched Wedge in the balls. And after an initial flinch, he started laughing. That part was a little unnerving. That's obviously someone who's not in their right mind, but I firmly believe alcohol doesn't fundamentally change a person...it's not a hallucinogenic or anything. Wedge's wife finally took over and pinned him, and the guys put zip ties on his hands and ankles so he'd stop. How fucked up is that? 
That was when he took it one step too far: he started telling his wife how fat she was. I wanted to bash him in the face for that. I sufficed with just covering his mouth; he started trying to lick and bite me. That irritated Soldier but I had on leather mittens and a wool coat so I didn't care, and I think it made him angrier that it wasn't bothering me. Really I had to keep myself from laughing about it. 

Around that time the wife said she could handle it and the guys decided it wasn't a threat anymore. The guys walked out without a word but I got a parting gift from Wedge: "Fuck you Laura." I reciprocated, then told him I hate him to the core of my soul, and that his wife is better than him. One last parting shot. 

The next day I texted her to see how things were going, and she was very apologetic. One part that sticks out in my mind is her kind of giggling and asking what she should get out of the situation once he was sobered up. I was marginally disgusted, I think it was in my tone when I told her she shouldn't try to get anything; she should walk away. One a basic level, I don't understand abusive relationships. I don't believe he's like that generally, and she did say she'd only seen him like that once before...but let me tell you a story about the one time I questioned my safety from a guy: I had the slight feeling I may get injured, and I got out of the situation. And that's the end of the tale, because in my book of fairy tales you don't get another chance to make me feel that way. She may not have the highest self-esteem, but she should at least think of the kids with something like that. 

I really have to start blogging this stuff when it happens, I'm getting angry again in rethinking it. But there's your dose of insanity for the Christmas season...Happy Holidays!

Secret Santa

Santa stays secret when you're the one who brought the shitty present

Raise your hand if you've missed the crazy stories. This one's (well, two, I think) for you!

For the past few years, one of Soldier's coworkers has held a Secret Santa Christmas party, and this year's was held last night. There's always a bit of anxiety with getting a Secret Santa present unless everyone knows each other really well. Soldier has only been working with this group for a couple of months, and there were still some of them I hadn't met, so we were both a little nervous.

We drew two names, one guy and one girl. Soldier had an idea for the guy, but he was leaving the other for me. I was a bit irritated; I'd only met her once. I went through all the girly stuff at the store and put together a nice spa bag for the $50 limit. And with that kind of limit, you kind of assume that everyone should get pretty nice, thoughtful gifts. I'm sure you can see where this is going.

We got there and had some food and drinks...which reminds me...there were these buffalo chicken stuffed muffins that I need to get the recipe for. They were scrumptious. So much yumminess in my mouth.
Everyone was chatting and having a good time, I think we'd all been there for a couple of hours by the time we opened presents. Someone awful decided we all had to go one by one. Oh yay. I was toward the end of the group, dreading my turn because everyone would be staring at me. There were some really cool gifts, some funny ones, and a couple that were a bit more inappropriate. My turn came and Soldier had to help me get the ribbons off...they were tied really tightly and I was already nervous from people looking at me.

I got the wrappings off to reveal...a bottle of Riesling. I don't mean to sound ungrateful (too late, I do now!), but it's about a $10 bottle. I know that somebody had asked Soldier for tips or ideas for me, and he'd said that I'm girly. Not a lot to go on, but really? A bottle of cheap white wine was the best possible option? Not gonna lie, I was kinda disappointed. Well, I can't be a frigid bitch so I tried to act like it was cool. Suh not kewl.

***

Back to eating and drinking. At one point, the Hostess decided that we were new bffs and we needed to chat. Well okay, everybody likes to be liked. So we went to her room and sat on her gloriously comfy bed. But then she started talking about her love triangle...or square. I already knew part of the story, but I really don't want to be in the midst of all the details.
Here's the short version: there was a guy (duh) she was with...I'm not sure if it was actual romantic or just sex.
Honestly, when I met this guy I deemed him a Frat Boy. Soldier told me I was wrong, but he totally is. He's good looking and is constantly working out, has a constantly pouty look on his face, kind of mumbles everything he says, and is angsty. He's a Frat Boy.
So Girl B came into the picture and became the girlfriend. I'm not sure if there was a bit of dabbling with both women but whatever. Girl B was dismissed in a rather public manner, and I believe Hostess stepped back in. Someone else wanted to start dating Girl B and respectfully asked Frat Boy if he was okay with it. He was. But then he decided that he wanted her back. His plan to win her was by berating her. And she agreed so he'd stop. Because that's how healthy relationships work.

Hostess is telling me that now the Frat Boy is bothering her and she just wants it to stop. Good God it was uncomfortable. I didn't know what to say, especially because I've heard different versions of the situation.

While we were chatting, some of the guys kept coming in and telling us to get back to the party. Then one of the guys, in kind of a weird way, decided he would stand guard so we could talk. After a while Hostess started feeling ill, and everyone was getting ready to leave. The only thing left was to pack up and head home...or so I thought.

Etiquette and the Modern Wedding

Please come help us celebrate the time, money, stress, and love we've put into our marriage ceremony...that you'll still find something wrong with. 

Have I bitched about wedding planning enough? I've been putting off the invite list stuff and finally delved into it today. I have so many annoyances with it. 

I would be fine with having about 20 people at the wedding. Immediate family, close friends, done. Granted, I knew Soldier's mom would want to invite a lot of people. I was a little aghast when we finally got her list though...I think it had around 180 people on it. Well that was a big no (although a handful of them were already on our list), but I made Soldier go through it because I didn't feel it was my place to make cuts. I haven't had the energy or guts to send the updated list back out, and I don't relish that day. 

I did hear one end of a conversation Soldier had with the 'rents about how there was an "obligation" for them to invite people. I may have stared open-mouthed, aghast and possibly a little ragey. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bit callous, but I don't feel that there's at all an obligation to invite anyone to a personal, intimate event. Plus, whose wedding is it again? In her defense, Mama-in-Law has offered to pay for it. However, to me, that means I might have to give up some control, which you all know I'm not prepared for. Seriously, it's a little concerning sometimes. 

Update: it's about 3:30 in the afternoon and I've opened a bottle of wine. At least I made it past noon?

Soldier and I made an agreement that this is a big deal, we want to focus on our life together, and we want to share it with people we know and love. For a while, I wasn't even sure I was going to invite all of my aunts and uncles. I think it might be out of the ordinary; we've never been super close with extended family. On my dad's side, there was a bit of a falling out a few years ago and he hasn't spoken with his siblings a whole lot since then. My mum's side is a bit trickier: for a long time her sisters didn't want much to do with her. (There's a whole family history there, don't think my mom's anything less than amazing.) A while back they all started to catch back up and make up for lost time, so she asked me to invite them, if only to make the gesture. I'm not sure I've ever met my aunts, but I'm good with sending the invitation, and I'd be happy to have them there to begin a relationship. And that's about it. The number on my parent's list was around 10 or 12. That I can live with. 

Now I'm getting around to collecting addresses and figuring out the correct way to write them on the envelopes and everything and you know what? Why? Who cares? I'm over here stressing out over the Mr/Mrs/Ms, the Dr, the correct way to add significant others and children, aaand cue the auto-immune that heartless bitch. 
And, unfortunately, I'll continue to stress, because I'm sure I'll get shit from somebody. 

On a happier note, all is right in the world because Soldier made me a freaking giraffe onesie. This is why you marry someone.