I get a little bit closer
To what? Sorry, I'll try to keep the soul searching to a minimum. And I know I'm overdue on an update. I should also be sleeping though, because work has been very busy this week and tomorrow's kind of crunch time.
As expected, I went to sleep instead of finishing this post last night. But that's probably good, there's quite a bit more to write today. Alright so...we start back at last Friday.
I went back and forth many times, but I finally bit the bullet and went out with Foxx (the coworker). We went to a new wine bar that opened up in town, and it was actually a nice time. For a while. Then it turned into "I've gotta ask...why are you single?"
UGH. What IS that question?! WHY do people ask that shit?! So my answer was "If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't be single." It then turned into him semi-trying to convince me that it would be okay to date a coworker. I "listened"...in one ear and out the other. I don't really see dating a coworker as a problem...I see the possible end of the relationship being a problem. How would you work with somebody after that? Okay, that may be a pessimistic way to look at it, but I also feel it's a realistic way to look at it. So, I tried to explain some reasons it might not be a good idea, and I thought I got through. You can guess---that was a no. It's toned down, but there are less veiled comments and more outright hitting on me. We had a work happy hour this evening, and my personal bubble was basically nonexistent. I'm not entirely sure what to do about this.
Next: Lindbergh. I'm still spending a lot of time with him. Last Saturday we spent basically all day together...we went to lunch, then got ice cream, then just hung out. Oh, he was super cute yesterday. Monday was National Dessert Day (apparently that's a thing). I helped him do some work in the evening, and then we went out to eat. We'd planned on getting dessert but were both too full. So he decided to make up for that yesterday. I had to do some work after hours (btw, doing work at home is totally not an issue when you have an awesome job and coworkers that appreciate you!) so I had to do some work after hours and I brought it over to his place (he lives close to my office). He put in a movie and I did my work, and it was really nice to hang out while I had to do something. He made popcorn and insisted that you can't have popcorn without a beer (agreed). A little bit later, he got dessert ready: he'd picked up some giant brownies (with sprinkles) from a local bakery, warmed them up, and paired them with port. It was a really nice, simple night.
On deck: Jonathan. We still talk, and I'm going to visit him in a couple weeks. It sucks to miss him as much as I do. It wouldn't be as bad if he worked regular business hours, but he works pretty much a million hours a week. Which isn't even humanly possible, but he finds a way to do it. The sad thing is, I think we could really have a good chance if we lived in the same place. As it is...we're two hours away. (Weekends? Refer back to his work schedule) He has absolutely no desire to come back home, and...I mean, how could I leave my job? I really love it. What's going to happen there? And how could it? It's stupid, really. And yet...stooory ooof my liiife.
And now: the coup de grâce. At least, with all these guy issues, I wish it were. Soldier sent me a message last night. I didn't get it till a few hours after he sent it...it was in the middle of the night when I saw it, and it was more shocking than anything else. He simply asked what I was up to. A drunken attempt at a booty call? Possibly. I replied, then saw his car still at the bar this morning. So, possibly a drunken attempt at a booty call. Late this morning he said he didn't remember sending the message, that he'd been very drunk, and that he felt shameful. Shameful? Really? Ouch.
Anyway, we chatted a bit and then the conversation just petered out. You know, I really didn't see him following the pattern. The boys always come back...it starts with drunken attempts at contact and then progresses. Apparently I was wrong on that end. I seemed to have the upper hand in the conversation...that was probably in my head though. Why did he have to do this when I'm actually starting to move on?
I'm feeling very drained; this week has been very demanding. I probably would have been okay had the Soldier issue not been...well, an issue. There's more to discuss, but that'll have to be for another post.
Until next time, my dears.
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