A Four Inch Slice

Happy to be cut into. 

I had my second appointment with the surgeon on Thursday. Well, except I didn't. 
Monday afternoon/evening, my foot started to get really cold, numb, and tingly. I tried massaging my foot to get some heat into it and ended up having to heat up a rice pack. My foot started to warm up a bit, but the cold had crept up my ankle and into my calf and it was starting to freak me out. I kept checking the pulse in my foot and it was fine, but it was a different type of cold than I'm used to. 
It was weird trying to figure out what to look for, mostly because I have weird health stuff in general. I have Raynaud's syndrome, which means my circulation is all crazy. After my biopsy, the nurses were telling me what to look out for with my foot, and it kept making me laugh. They said to worry if it's cold...well I'm always cold. There was also a check for the how quickly the blood comes back to the capillaries if you press on them...pretty often during the winter my capillaries just close up and I lose circulation. So, it kind of came down to checking the pulse, and they marked an X on my foot so I'd know where to look. 

Anyway my pulse was there, and eventually the feeling and warmth came back. I decided to call the next day (Tuesday) to let them know what was going on. Since the surgeon is awesome, he got me in that day. He decided my foot was okay (which I knew) and started looking at the pictures from the ultrasound. I mentioned that I'm not able to do anything, and he asked what I meant. Then I said how I wasn't really able to walk and he asked me to elaborate on that. So I showed him how I couldn't straighten or flex my leg quite right. 

When I'm uncomfortable or nervous, I make jokes. Also I don't like to be a problem patient, so I try not to be too bothersome. But I decided that I needed to stop downplaying what was going on. So I showed him what was going on and he started to measure the hematoma from the pictures. He decided it was pretty big and was sitting on top of the muscle, then started talking about what we needed to do to get it out of there. 
I thought it sounded fantastic. I asked when we could do it, and he said the next day (Wednesday). I was excited. All night, and the next day. I was excited when I got to the surgery center. I was less excited when I went back to the room. I was even less excited when they put in the IV. After that, the doctor came in and explained what was going to happen, then the anesthesiologist came to talk to me about the drugs. 
It went pretty quickly after that. They took me into the OR, started the drugs, and I woke up with my leg all bandaged up. 

It went really well...the surgeon got rid of the hematoma and I have about a 4 inch incision. My leg's still all wrapped up, I've been off work for the past few days, and I'm trying to get back to walking normally. On a positive note, I finally got to take a shower today. I was pretty rank. 
But, of course, this advancement on the situation has made me more lonely. Of course. I mean, kind of...it's made me see how many amazing people and support I have in my life. But at the same time it would be so nice to have someone to curl up next to. Before the surgery, I cried just about every day. I was so frustrated with the whole thing. 

Oh but, yay for me, the creepy weirdo guy from church sent me another email. It was something about 10 reasons to let the genie out of the bottle or some weird shit. Crazy ass. 
Soldier recently commented on one of my status updates on the Facebook. I'd like to be able to read something into that, but I'm trying really hard not to read anything into that. 

So, in trying not to worry too much about the "love life" and trying to keep out the creepers, I'm working on another trip to Paris. This time without the extra lumpy friend afterwards.