My brief and plain response to the guy from church wasn't good enough for him. He felt the need to elaborate, and told me that the purpose of meeting was because he wanted to reconcile and make peace with me. It got yet another eye roll because, let's be honest, I don't give a flying fuck about his life or what he wants. (Not very Christian, I know, but the dude's off his rocker.) As I read farther, my mood took a curious change from annoyed to...kind of hopeless. The next few lines: "Nothing happens in a vacuum: mea culpa - culpa tuam (the situation is my fault but your fault too)."
I almost started crying out of a kind of despair. What's so messed up in his head that this seems to be okay? And I had no idea what I could possibly do to stop the derangement. This was honestly getting a bit frightening, so I tried to think about it logically, in the case that I may need to bring it to a legal point eventually. If it should come to that, though, I was missing the important piece of explicitly telling him to stay away. Adding to that, my passiveness had worn out. I hate being mean to people (believe it or not) and I'd rather just hide from the situation, but everyone has a breaking point.
My reply left absolutely no room for interpretation: "There is nothing to reconcile or move on from, and I have in no way encouraged your behavior. Do not contact me again." There it was. I triumphantly slammed that door, locked it from the outside, and threw a bomb at it. But the bomb fizzled out, and the next day I got another email. Let's play that fun game where I give you the message verbatim, interspersed with my hilarious and witty remarks!
I will honor your wishes for no contact (after this e-mail). Gee. How very generous.
Since we will not meet, allow me to talk via e-mail instead.
Please accept my apology for initiating contact (circa late February) uh, thanks for the reminder, but I fucking know when it was and for all the problems that may have caused. I do not think I said bad things in my e-mail. Because hitting on a random girl despite having a wife and kid is no big thing. If anything I was too honest. WHY do men keeping saying that shit to me?! There's a difference between honesty and crazy. However, I crossed a line that should not have been crossed, and it has caused pain. Forgive me. So much nope! I apologize.
Since that time I have worked to set things right. Specifically: I have not contacted you over the last 3 months. Wise choice. I took a couple of 3 week periods away and attended mass elsewhere. I confessed (don't worry - not to Father [at our church]). I really wish he had, so my priest would know about this creeper. I used the opportunity to focus on self-improvement. At one point, I decided that I would not look at you (at all), until I felt I could do so with a proper frame of mind. Um, gross. Keep that shit to yourself. Good news: I think I am there.
So why would I contact you now after all this time? Well, when you left the choir abruptly Sunday, it made me think I was not finished cleaning up my mess. For goodness sake what a ludicrous crazy person! The reason I had left church early was to go kayaking. Why does this asshole think he has any bearing on my thoughts or feelings? I know I have hurt you. I realize that "reconcile" was not the best word choice, but I thought it would be best to meet in a public location, talk, and apologize in person. Even more nope. My hope was to establish enough good will and rapport to at least be able to say "Hi" in public instead of a silent stare. There are few things that I want less than to talk to this guy. I also don't evoke a "silent stare"...I opt for more of "avoid at all costs."
My point about the "culpa" stuff: You hurt me too WHAT?! (but don't worry, I already forgave you. I decided that would be easier than trying to get agreement with you on what happened:). Oh, go fuck yourself. You forgave me for what? For existing? For not appreciating your weirdo pervyness?
So there you go. No meeting required. No need to be mad or upset. No more contact. It's about damn time!
You're a good person Laura. God must have big plans for you - to have you experience problems like me :) That...that does not make...a single ounce of sense. Why would this outrageous situation mean that God has big plans for me? Oh, oh that's right, it's because you are a nutjob.
I kind of wanted to reply and tell him what an idiot I think he is, but I restrained myself. So, *hopefully* this is the end of the saga with the crazy man from church. I think we're all okay with closing this chapter.
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