Out of Sight...

...lurking odiously in the shadows.

Aaaah you guys are so lucky! You get this awesome bonus post! Be excited be excited be excited! 
And then be sad about all the stupid. 

Remember that fucker from church that kept emailing me? I hadn't heard anything in a few months, so I figured I was safe. There have been a couple of times, when church was over, that he seemed to be wandering up toward the choir area. There's a (probably good) chance that I was paranoid, but each time I opted to just make a beeline out...I'll admit that there are some problems I bring on myself, but that is not my brand of crazy. 

I got a surprise email from that asshole last night. He's been thinking, and he thinks it would be good for us to talk. Because he's batshit crazy. He asked to meet at a restaurant for lunch. He went so far as to let me know he'd clear his schedule as necessary, but oh-so-generously offered some prospective times. 

As you can probably guess, I was absolutely seething. What in the fucking hell is wrong with his brain that he thought that was okay?! What makes it even more ludicrous is that I can *honestly* say I have not given the tiniest iota of encouragement. (I would like you to not that those are not quotation marks, they are asterisks. Because, unlike half of America, I know that you look like a nitwit when you imagine you're showing emphasis with apostrophes.) Seriously though, I didn't return any emails and avoided all contact. 

This finally deserved a response. I made it as brief and plain as possible: "I find that neither necessary nor appropriate and I'm not interested." 
BOOM.

In other news, I spoke too soon...I got a text from Van Gogh today. There was a salutation, then he asked if it was okay for him to text me. Eh, it's just easier to report the conversation.

VG: "Is it okay that I test you?"
Okay, at this point, one of my coworkers warned me not to answer. I should have listened, but you know me.
Me: "I suppose it depends on what you're texting me for."
VG: "What did I do to deserve such a cold reception? I've done nothing wrong to you. Maybe I thought about you on too many occasions, sorry if you feel that is wrong. You were dear to me. It seems I have soured to you."
Cue eye roll. It's like he's actively trying to be the tortured writer; like he wants to be treated poorly.
Me: "You asked a question, I was simply giving an honest answer."
VG: "Well, why does it depend on what I want? Are we not friends? Do you not care about me? I want an honest answer. Do you care a single ounce about me?"
Oh God. Where do I begin?! You ask a loaded question, you have to be prepared for the answer. You don't get to be upset by it. You wanna pick a fight...get ready to spar, bitch. 
Me: "I am very, very tired of the angsty, emotional drama."
Trust me, that was the nice version.
VG: "Wow. I finally see your true colors. YOU ARE A BITCH!! No wonder you don't have a man or married. You're even more broken than I am. Damn. Very glad you acted this way today. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you."
Even trying to be all angry and hostile, it's overly dramatized. That's actually impressive. But, um, should I be concerned that it really didn't offend me at all? I think I actually chuckled, then walked through the grocery strutted like it was my personal runway. Like the fierce, badass bitch that I am. I'll just keep telling myself that. 
But, I will say that I was super excited about my rebuttal: 
Me: "In my defense, I kept trying to tell you that."

When you think about it, he proved the point I'd been trying to make to him all along: that he couldn't possible be "so in love" with me without seeing every side. He didn't like this side and he blew up. What's slightly disappointing is that it feels like a missed chance. If I'd known he was going to overreact and go all crazy like that, I would have genuinely acted like a bitch. That was really a watered down version. 

To let you in on a little secret though, I am getting a bit bothered by my general indifference. It's probably some sort of defense mechanism, but it makes me feel bad. I don't want or intend to be a cold-hearted bitch. Maybe my life is like the movie Frozen. Where's the act of love to thaw my cold heart?! I think this vacation on the horizon will do me good. Just a little longer. Send calming, tranquilizing, sensitive thoughts my way.