...If we're gonna do anything, we might as well just fuck.
And let this post serve as my confession. Bless me Bloggees, for I have sinned. That's how it works, right? If I'm the Blogger, you're the Bloggees? It's kinda cute. I like it.
Let me start off by saying that Tee is practically perfect in almost every way. He has his life together, has a good job and a home, is good looking, and treats me wonderfully. I have absolutely no doubt that he cares and wants to keep me around. As you all know, that's not the norm lately. But, because of the douche-balls I've been associated with lately, I now have some trust issues and, for some reason I kind of freak out and clam up when someone really cares. Although, in my defense, my confession was something I thought about before Tee joined the story. Gah. Okay.
You also already know that Soldier and I have been on pretty good terms lately. What you don't know (but probably figured out by now) is that Soldier and I have been on very good terms recently. VERY good terms.
One night while my roommies were on vacation, Soldier checked in to make sure I wasn't holing myself up at home alone. Shit. Did I already write about this? Oh well. I told him I'd successfully gotten out, but that I had some decent beer and an empty house if he was bored. He came over, we hung out a little, then I put a movie on. We were at separate ends of the couch, but my dog was laying down in front of my seat, so I couldn't put the...footrest(?) up, so I was stretched out toward Soldier. He must have been pretty not-sober; he asked if I wanted a foot massage. I told him that actually my calves were hurting, so he rubbed them. After a while he asked if I wanted to cuddle, and I told him I don't turn cuddling down. Then we both fell asleep. Eventually I woke up and told him that he absolutely didn't have to come with me, but that we had extra rooms so he might as well go to bed. He declined, but did stay the night. The next morning I made breakfast, which he didn't have, but he did stay for some coffee.
After that, it came up (hehe) again during that same home-alone time. I'm not sure how the conversation went, but it turned...ahem...explicit. Next thing I knew, Soldier said he was on his way over. I missed him, we "mesh" well.
Here comes the bad part: I went to see Soldier again after I'd been out with Tee. Believe me, I know it's terrible. I'd had a lot of fun with him, it was a great day. But I went to see Soldier anyway. He'd expected me to stay the night, but I guess I just used him. I've mentioned before that it sometimes concerns me the person I'm becoming.
On the other hand, look at the world today. Riots in Europe, planes vanishing and being shot down, Ebola and mass kidnappings in Africa...and that's only the stuff that makes the headlines. And you know what? It scares the damn hell out of me. So part of me thinks I should just take the time to have fun. Be a little crazy, even if I might be kind of late.
Tee is a safe bet. And I'm not getting any younger. And I do like him and greatly appreciate the way he treats me. But would I decline another visit with Soldier? I don't know. My thoughts are kind of divided between the two men.
I'm sure the Girlfriend card is pretty inevitable with Tee. Again, it's a smart, decent choice. And then I'll really have to let go of Soldier, at least physically. And I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Now, let's laugh! Remember the last exchange with Van Gogh? As a reminder: he tried to talk to me, I told him I was tired of all the drama, he called me a bitch. That was...geez, maybe 2 or so months ago. Well, he sent me an email today. It had no message. The subject was: "I remember this girl...she was beautiful" HA. HAHA. After flailing with bewilderment, I came up with another killer response.
"And then she was a bitch. The end."
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