...If we're gonna do anything, we might as well just fuck.
And let this post serve as my confession. Bless me Bloggees, for I have sinned. That's how it works, right? If I'm the Blogger, you're the Bloggees? It's kinda cute. I like it.
Let me start off by saying that Tee is practically perfect in almost every way. He has his life together, has a good job and a home, is good looking, and treats me wonderfully. I have absolutely no doubt that he cares and wants to keep me around. As you all know, that's not the norm lately. But, because of the douche-balls I've been associated with lately, I now have some trust issues and, for some reason I kind of freak out and clam up when someone really cares. Although, in my defense, my confession was something I thought about before Tee joined the story. Gah. Okay.
You also already know that Soldier and I have been on pretty good terms lately. What you don't know (but probably figured out by now) is that Soldier and I have been on very good terms recently. VERY good terms.
One night while my roommies were on vacation, Soldier checked in to make sure I wasn't holing myself up at home alone. Shit. Did I already write about this? Oh well. I told him I'd successfully gotten out, but that I had some decent beer and an empty house if he was bored. He came over, we hung out a little, then I put a movie on. We were at separate ends of the couch, but my dog was laying down in front of my seat, so I couldn't put the...footrest(?) up, so I was stretched out toward Soldier. He must have been pretty not-sober; he asked if I wanted a foot massage. I told him that actually my calves were hurting, so he rubbed them. After a while he asked if I wanted to cuddle, and I told him I don't turn cuddling down. Then we both fell asleep. Eventually I woke up and told him that he absolutely didn't have to come with me, but that we had extra rooms so he might as well go to bed. He declined, but did stay the night. The next morning I made breakfast, which he didn't have, but he did stay for some coffee.
After that, it came up (hehe) again during that same home-alone time. I'm not sure how the conversation went, but it turned...ahem...explicit. Next thing I knew, Soldier said he was on his way over. I missed him, we "mesh" well.
Here comes the bad part: I went to see Soldier again after I'd been out with Tee. Believe me, I know it's terrible. I'd had a lot of fun with him, it was a great day. But I went to see Soldier anyway. He'd expected me to stay the night, but I guess I just used him. I've mentioned before that it sometimes concerns me the person I'm becoming.
On the other hand, look at the world today. Riots in Europe, planes vanishing and being shot down, Ebola and mass kidnappings in Africa...and that's only the stuff that makes the headlines. And you know what? It scares the damn hell out of me. So part of me thinks I should just take the time to have fun. Be a little crazy, even if I might be kind of late.
Tee is a safe bet. And I'm not getting any younger. And I do like him and greatly appreciate the way he treats me. But would I decline another visit with Soldier? I don't know. My thoughts are kind of divided between the two men.
I'm sure the Girlfriend card is pretty inevitable with Tee. Again, it's a smart, decent choice. And then I'll really have to let go of Soldier, at least physically. And I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Now, let's laugh! Remember the last exchange with Van Gogh? As a reminder: he tried to talk to me, I told him I was tired of all the drama, he called me a bitch. That was...geez, maybe 2 or so months ago. Well, he sent me an email today. It had no message. The subject was: "I remember this girl...she was beautiful" HA. HAHA. After flailing with bewilderment, I came up with another killer response.
"And then she was a bitch. The end."
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Friday, July 25, 2014
Miss Independence
'Murica.
I'm sorry my lovelies, I've been neglecting you. I'm really not exactly sure when I started having a life, but it's there now. So. Let's get back into it. Fourth of July (long) weekend.
That Thursday (July 3), my boss told me to leave early since I'd stayed late earlier that week. Normally that would be exciting. Since Child ditched me (or himself, however you'd like to look at it), I was kind of bummed and feeling like I'd just end up sitting around being lame. A friend of mine was in town (a wonderful, wonderful guy) so I asked what he was up to and we made plans with another couple (of friends...I don't really know how to say that. They're mutual friends of ours, but they're also a couple. Mmhmm. I think I just confused myself more.) We went to a brewery and then the couple (of friends teehee) called it a night (she'd just come back from Europe so that was fair). The friend and I went to another bar and met up with some other friends; we ended up at a beach house that belongs to one of the guy's parents. Oh, I suppose he warrants a name. Waiter. There. Cuz he's a waiter...get it?! Course you do ;)
There was a nice sized group at the beach house until, maybe around 4, people started talking about leaving. It didn't occur to me what time it was, and I wasn't quite ready to end the night, so I declined when my friend asked if I wanted to go.
After the rush, there were 4 of us left: myself, Waiter, Cook, and Air (I'll explain that one later). Waiter and Air had to go pick something up off the yacht (oh, did I mention that Waiter's parents are loaded and have a 55 foot yacht? Well, yeah.), so for a while it was just Cook and I sitting out by the fire. (Right...this needs explanation. It was on the deck overlooking the beach, with one of those electric fires so everything was nice and cozy). Apparently there was a little too much ambiance, because Cook tried to kiss me. It would have been really smooth if I'd let him, but I was very caught off guard, and not exactly interested. It was awkward.
When the others returned, Waiter gave me his shirt so we could all go in the hot tub. Well, no, it was really more of an obnoxiously patriotic tank top. It allowed me to lounge around in the warmth, so I wasn't going to complain. After a while we all got out, and I started to get very cold (shocker!). Waiter (I hope I'm remembering this wrong, because it doesn't make any sense at all) didn't believe me, and told me to go down to the water and bring up mud (or wet sand, since it's not really muddish). I finally agreed, with the stipulation that he go with me. (Oh, did I mention that Waiter is also incredibly attractive? And tall? Well, yeah.)
He agreed and we ran down the beach to the water. It was really kind of a silly trip; we walked a bit, had a 15ish minute discussion on whether we were looking at a heron or a crane, and joked around. When I got cold, Waiter wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, but that was it.
Before I knew it, the sun was up. We were still running around on the beach, but I was getting really cold again. The two of us got back into the hot tub; the others had gone to sleep. Again, it was innocent, and just fun. I do slightly regret not watching the sunrise on the beach. Oh well, maybe I'll get another chance.
I finally went to sleep at 7:30 in the morning.
4th of July was celebrated at my parent's best friend's pool party. I had been looking forward to it because I knew Tee would be there. Tee is the guy who piqued my interest from the previous weekend's birthday party, and I had actually seen him the night before at the brewery. I was having a good time just hanging out and chatting with him.
Not too long after I had been at the party, I got a message from Waiter. He said his friend Air had been interested in me the night before and invited me to hang out with them at the beach. I said I'd probably come out and meet them a bit later, and I had every intention to. In the evening I asked if they were going to watch the fireworks, and Waiter said they'd go out on the boat and seemed to give an invitation, but I didn't hear anything else.
I ended up inviting Tee out for the fireworks. We sat on a grassy knoll and watched them. It was kind of a madhouse with all the cars leaving afterwards, so we just sat and hung out...for like 3 hours. It was fun, and at the end of the night he suggested we hang out again. I agreed.
The next day, I got a message from Air that he was bored and asked if I wanted to come hang out again at the beach house. Not really doing anything, I agreed. It was a beautiful view, after all, and a great day. We hung out; I found out he's a performer for our state's NBA team. It was a fun time. Later on, I hung out with Tee again. And the day after, he and I took a walk on the beach.
That was the day I got the text from Child, when I let him know that he'd really messed up.
As you can see, the weekend that I thought would consist of me lazing around at home alone turned into something so much better. So I guess Child's douchery was a blessing in disguise.
It's been a non-stop adventure since then.
I'm sorry my lovelies, I've been neglecting you. I'm really not exactly sure when I started having a life, but it's there now. So. Let's get back into it. Fourth of July (long) weekend.
That Thursday (July 3), my boss told me to leave early since I'd stayed late earlier that week. Normally that would be exciting. Since Child ditched me (or himself, however you'd like to look at it), I was kind of bummed and feeling like I'd just end up sitting around being lame. A friend of mine was in town (a wonderful, wonderful guy) so I asked what he was up to and we made plans with another couple (of friends...I don't really know how to say that. They're mutual friends of ours, but they're also a couple. Mmhmm. I think I just confused myself more.) We went to a brewery and then the couple (of friends teehee) called it a night (she'd just come back from Europe so that was fair). The friend and I went to another bar and met up with some other friends; we ended up at a beach house that belongs to one of the guy's parents. Oh, I suppose he warrants a name. Waiter. There. Cuz he's a waiter...get it?! Course you do ;)
There was a nice sized group at the beach house until, maybe around 4, people started talking about leaving. It didn't occur to me what time it was, and I wasn't quite ready to end the night, so I declined when my friend asked if I wanted to go.
After the rush, there were 4 of us left: myself, Waiter, Cook, and Air (I'll explain that one later). Waiter and Air had to go pick something up off the yacht (oh, did I mention that Waiter's parents are loaded and have a 55 foot yacht? Well, yeah.), so for a while it was just Cook and I sitting out by the fire. (Right...this needs explanation. It was on the deck overlooking the beach, with one of those electric fires so everything was nice and cozy). Apparently there was a little too much ambiance, because Cook tried to kiss me. It would have been really smooth if I'd let him, but I was very caught off guard, and not exactly interested. It was awkward.
When the others returned, Waiter gave me his shirt so we could all go in the hot tub. Well, no, it was really more of an obnoxiously patriotic tank top. It allowed me to lounge around in the warmth, so I wasn't going to complain. After a while we all got out, and I started to get very cold (shocker!). Waiter (I hope I'm remembering this wrong, because it doesn't make any sense at all) didn't believe me, and told me to go down to the water and bring up mud (or wet sand, since it's not really muddish). I finally agreed, with the stipulation that he go with me. (Oh, did I mention that Waiter is also incredibly attractive? And tall? Well, yeah.)
He agreed and we ran down the beach to the water. It was really kind of a silly trip; we walked a bit, had a 15ish minute discussion on whether we were looking at a heron or a crane, and joked around. When I got cold, Waiter wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, but that was it.
Before I knew it, the sun was up. We were still running around on the beach, but I was getting really cold again. The two of us got back into the hot tub; the others had gone to sleep. Again, it was innocent, and just fun. I do slightly regret not watching the sunrise on the beach. Oh well, maybe I'll get another chance.
I finally went to sleep at 7:30 in the morning.
4th of July was celebrated at my parent's best friend's pool party. I had been looking forward to it because I knew Tee would be there. Tee is the guy who piqued my interest from the previous weekend's birthday party, and I had actually seen him the night before at the brewery. I was having a good time just hanging out and chatting with him.
Not too long after I had been at the party, I got a message from Waiter. He said his friend Air had been interested in me the night before and invited me to hang out with them at the beach. I said I'd probably come out and meet them a bit later, and I had every intention to. In the evening I asked if they were going to watch the fireworks, and Waiter said they'd go out on the boat and seemed to give an invitation, but I didn't hear anything else.
I ended up inviting Tee out for the fireworks. We sat on a grassy knoll and watched them. It was kind of a madhouse with all the cars leaving afterwards, so we just sat and hung out...for like 3 hours. It was fun, and at the end of the night he suggested we hang out again. I agreed.
The next day, I got a message from Air that he was bored and asked if I wanted to come hang out again at the beach house. Not really doing anything, I agreed. It was a beautiful view, after all, and a great day. We hung out; I found out he's a performer for our state's NBA team. It was a fun time. Later on, I hung out with Tee again. And the day after, he and I took a walk on the beach.
That was the day I got the text from Child, when I let him know that he'd really messed up.
As you can see, the weekend that I thought would consist of me lazing around at home alone turned into something so much better. So I guess Child's douchery was a blessing in disguise.
It's been a non-stop adventure since then.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Consequences
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
For an update on the Child, we have to do some time traveling. I was supposed to see him before I left for the trip. I saw him over the weekend, and we'd talked about getting lunch during the week. He had class in town on Mondays, so I was assuming that's when we'd get together. The sun rose and set on Monday and I heard nothing from Child. Tuesday? Silence. Wednesday? Crickets.
I woke up in the middle of the night on Wednesday, and was exceedingly frustrated. I sent him a text and he told me he missed me. He didn't have to work the next day, so I asked if he'd be willing to come in and have lunch with me. He agreed and asked when; I suggested a time and offered to go a restaurant closer to him.
When I woke up the next morning I found that he hadn't answered my text. I packed lunch just in case and, when the proposed meeting time passed, I ate at my desk. I was a little disappointed, but not excessively surprised. I mean, it's easy to see he's not the most mature one out there. I really think he's just that used to getting his way. So my disappointment was overshadowed by my impatience for that childish shit.
Well, I went about my trip and focused on having fun. I did think about Child every once in a while, but nothing too serious. Then, one evening, I got a text from Child. He said that he missed me. Unsure of what to say, I just replied, "Oh really?" He said that he'd been thinking a lot about the two of us and that he'd be lucky to be with me.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt...if I was pseudo-dating someone and they went on a road trip with an ex, I would not be a happy camper. At the same time, though, I was a tad wary. But we talked a little bit.
You've already heard the story of my disastrous journey home and how I was basically a zombie. The part I skipped was on Monday, when I was on my way to the training. I left work early for the drive (it was about 3 hours), and called Child to see if he wanted to hang out a bit when I went through his city. He first said yes, then told me he forgot he had an appointment to look at an apartment. I got crabby and pouty because I was overly tired and wanted to see him. (Man I'm dumb!) He called back shortly after and said the people he was supposed to meet weren't there, so we went out to eat. I should have just driven straight through to the hotel and slept; I was just tired and whiny. Plus, it just made the next two days in training an absolute hell. But that's beside the point.
We talked about getting together again, and I sent him a text one night telling him I missed him. So we decided I'd go in to see him that Saturday for a while. I had to go in to his city anyway, so it worked. He said he'd be up by noon, and I told him to text me when he got up and I'd start the drive. I waited and waited and didn't hear anything. I finally got a text at like 2, when he had to work at 4:30. I still stopped to see him, but I was thoroughly annoyed. (But also still tired and whiny.)
I started to bring up his behavior. I told him how he had a habit of not following through with things he said he would do. How he really even didn't have a conversation with me when we weren't together, other than to tell me he wanted to see me. He said it'd get better, that we'd talk more and (since we both had the following Friday off) that I should come in on Thursday night and we could spend Thursday and all day Friday together. I asked if he meant it this time, and he said that it really would.
He did text me that evening to chat a bit.
Interruption: I was clearly becoming disenchanted with the Child and the way he was treating me. We all know this means it became open season for me. I went to the family party and there was a guy there that piqued my interest. I'd met him before, but something was more striking this time. And after the party, I went to see Jonathan, who was in town. Good God, why doesn't somebody slap me for continuing to see him?! It never ends well. But those two started to fill the cracks that were forming in the "relationship" between Child and I.
After that day (Saturday) I didn't really hear anything from him. Finally, on Wednesday afternoon, I sent him a text and asked if I was still supposed to go see him the next day. Hours later, he told me he was considering going up to the northern part of the state. I.was.livid. Li-vid. He asked what I was doing for the extended weekend, and I told him I had planned on seeing him. He simply said "yeah" and, with that word, I was kind of done.
On Sunday afternoon, he said hi and asked what I was doing; I was on my way to the beach. Next came the familiar "I miss u" and my single word reply: "Bull." Then it became the old back and forth: I want to see you, how can I make it up to you, I don't know what you want from me, etc. I asked why I should make the effort when he had no interest in seeing me when he had the chance, told him I wasn't sure how he could make it up since he'd broken my trust, and pointed out that I actually had spelled out quite clearly what I'd wanted from him. He asked what he could do, and I said he could start with actually talking to me, and keeping his word.
Nothing has really changed. I'll hear from him every few days telling me I should come see him. The latest was this past Friday; he sent me a text just after midnight, saying I should make the hour drive to his apartment. I simply said, "It's too late."
So very late, in so very many ways.
For an update on the Child, we have to do some time traveling. I was supposed to see him before I left for the trip. I saw him over the weekend, and we'd talked about getting lunch during the week. He had class in town on Mondays, so I was assuming that's when we'd get together. The sun rose and set on Monday and I heard nothing from Child. Tuesday? Silence. Wednesday? Crickets.
I woke up in the middle of the night on Wednesday, and was exceedingly frustrated. I sent him a text and he told me he missed me. He didn't have to work the next day, so I asked if he'd be willing to come in and have lunch with me. He agreed and asked when; I suggested a time and offered to go a restaurant closer to him.
When I woke up the next morning I found that he hadn't answered my text. I packed lunch just in case and, when the proposed meeting time passed, I ate at my desk. I was a little disappointed, but not excessively surprised. I mean, it's easy to see he's not the most mature one out there. I really think he's just that used to getting his way. So my disappointment was overshadowed by my impatience for that childish shit.
Well, I went about my trip and focused on having fun. I did think about Child every once in a while, but nothing too serious. Then, one evening, I got a text from Child. He said that he missed me. Unsure of what to say, I just replied, "Oh really?" He said that he'd been thinking a lot about the two of us and that he'd be lucky to be with me.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt...if I was pseudo-dating someone and they went on a road trip with an ex, I would not be a happy camper. At the same time, though, I was a tad wary. But we talked a little bit.
You've already heard the story of my disastrous journey home and how I was basically a zombie. The part I skipped was on Monday, when I was on my way to the training. I left work early for the drive (it was about 3 hours), and called Child to see if he wanted to hang out a bit when I went through his city. He first said yes, then told me he forgot he had an appointment to look at an apartment. I got crabby and pouty because I was overly tired and wanted to see him. (Man I'm dumb!) He called back shortly after and said the people he was supposed to meet weren't there, so we went out to eat. I should have just driven straight through to the hotel and slept; I was just tired and whiny. Plus, it just made the next two days in training an absolute hell. But that's beside the point.
We talked about getting together again, and I sent him a text one night telling him I missed him. So we decided I'd go in to see him that Saturday for a while. I had to go in to his city anyway, so it worked. He said he'd be up by noon, and I told him to text me when he got up and I'd start the drive. I waited and waited and didn't hear anything. I finally got a text at like 2, when he had to work at 4:30. I still stopped to see him, but I was thoroughly annoyed. (But also still tired and whiny.)
I started to bring up his behavior. I told him how he had a habit of not following through with things he said he would do. How he really even didn't have a conversation with me when we weren't together, other than to tell me he wanted to see me. He said it'd get better, that we'd talk more and (since we both had the following Friday off) that I should come in on Thursday night and we could spend Thursday and all day Friday together. I asked if he meant it this time, and he said that it really would.
He did text me that evening to chat a bit.
Interruption: I was clearly becoming disenchanted with the Child and the way he was treating me. We all know this means it became open season for me. I went to the family party and there was a guy there that piqued my interest. I'd met him before, but something was more striking this time. And after the party, I went to see Jonathan, who was in town. Good God, why doesn't somebody slap me for continuing to see him?! It never ends well. But those two started to fill the cracks that were forming in the "relationship" between Child and I.
After that day (Saturday) I didn't really hear anything from him. Finally, on Wednesday afternoon, I sent him a text and asked if I was still supposed to go see him the next day. Hours later, he told me he was considering going up to the northern part of the state. I.was.livid. Li-vid. He asked what I was doing for the extended weekend, and I told him I had planned on seeing him. He simply said "yeah" and, with that word, I was kind of done.
On Sunday afternoon, he said hi and asked what I was doing; I was on my way to the beach. Next came the familiar "I miss u" and my single word reply: "Bull." Then it became the old back and forth: I want to see you, how can I make it up to you, I don't know what you want from me, etc. I asked why I should make the effort when he had no interest in seeing me when he had the chance, told him I wasn't sure how he could make it up since he'd broken my trust, and pointed out that I actually had spelled out quite clearly what I'd wanted from him. He asked what he could do, and I said he could start with actually talking to me, and keeping his word.
Nothing has really changed. I'll hear from him every few days telling me I should come see him. The latest was this past Friday; he sent me a text just after midnight, saying I should make the hour drive to his apartment. I simply said, "It's too late."
So very late, in so very many ways.
Monday, July 7, 2014
2200 Miles to LA (Part 3)
You can't hide from yourself
I'm really making this harder on myself; I'm having adventures way faster than sending them out to you all. I'm okay with it though...apparently I've finally gotten it through my head that things are way more fun when they're spontaneous and random. Moving right along.
When we last saw our heroine (that's me!), there was a small hope of a romantic reunion.
The next day (we're on Wednesday now), was pretty low key. My sister was *under the weather* and stayed in bed all day, so eventually her friend and I went for pedicures.
Later that night, my brother in law took us for a very fancy dinner. It was fantastic, delicious, and fun. On the way home, drunk and laughing, I sent Soldier a text asking what they were up to. He didn't answer.
The next morning we went on the WB tour. It was a ton of fun! Unfortunately, I go to LA at the worst times...so almost nothing was filming, and I did not see celebrities. Worse than that, I did not see Henry Cavill, make him fall in love with me, and live happily ever after. I just have the worst luck. Actually, we may have seen Miley Cyrus, but we weren't very interested in finding out for sure.
The rest of the day was kind of lazy again, and when we got home from dinner, I was starting to feel kind of crappy. My sister had mentioned going out but then decided she didn't want to, so I was frustrated, and allergies were kicking in. Allergy Face basically makes me feel like I want to cry about everything. Finally I went for a run by myself, wandering around the neighborhoods. Soldier texted me back and told me what they'd done the night before. I told him it didn't matter at that point.
The boys had talked about coming to the gig on Friday night, and my sister was pretty adamant about them showing up. Of course, they didn't. I'm not sure if it was Thursday or Friday, but I finally sent him a text and asked if I was supposed to go to the wedding with him; that the bride had assumed I was. He said he wasn't planning on it, but if I wanted to go he could make "reasonable accommodations." It hurt my feelings and bruised my ego a little bit, and I said it was fine. I also said he might not want to tell people he'd make accommodations, as it sounds rude and unwelcoming. After that I told him he was an idiot, and I think I ruined the friendliness that had been growing.
As sad as I was about not getting to go to the wedding, the next day redeemed it. I was super hungover, but got up in time to go for a ride on a band member's Ducati. We traveled up through the Santa Monica mountains and down to the PCH. We stopped for a drink and a quick look at the beach (believe it or not, it's the first time I've seen surfers in person!)...it ended up being about 100 miles. It was a ton of fun, but my arms ended up being so freaking sore! Oh well, I looked (and felt) like a damn badass.
Saturday was the last gig night, but I wasn't planning on staying long. I still had to pack, and the entire next day would be spent flying. But then...I got there. And had a lot of fun. And made some new friends.
I had actually met one of them the previous night, and he came back out to hang. (He may or may not have been a drug dealer). Another shared a beer with me, but then flitted off to another girl. I started flirting with one of the bartenders (who, fun fact, does BMX stuff), and then there was a 4th who told me how smitten he was (I found out later he has a beautiful girlfriend. Cheater Pants). I exchanged numbers with the maybe drug dealer, the hot bartender/BMX guy, and Cheater Pants. I still chat with them a bit.
So we didn't get back to my sister's house till like 330 in the morning. I remember looking at the clock and thinking, "oh fuck, I have to get up in like 2 hours."
So, I got up about 2 hours later, but flying is not my thing right now. The first flight was delayed for a mechanical issue (despite being a brand-fucking-new plane). I missed my connection, but my mom is a rockstar and rebooked me before I even made it to the ground.
But then that flight was delayed. So, I should have flown into my hometown around 7...I got into an airport an hour away from home at about 2230. I wasn't the happiest girl in the world. However, I made it safely and I got to sleep in my own bed with some good memories.
Well, my friends, that brings me back home. I'm kinda slowly catching up to the present day. But I promise, the best is yet to come ;)
I'm really making this harder on myself; I'm having adventures way faster than sending them out to you all. I'm okay with it though...apparently I've finally gotten it through my head that things are way more fun when they're spontaneous and random. Moving right along.
When we last saw our heroine (that's me!), there was a small hope of a romantic reunion.
The next day (we're on Wednesday now), was pretty low key. My sister was *under the weather* and stayed in bed all day, so eventually her friend and I went for pedicures.
Later that night, my brother in law took us for a very fancy dinner. It was fantastic, delicious, and fun. On the way home, drunk and laughing, I sent Soldier a text asking what they were up to. He didn't answer.
The next morning we went on the WB tour. It was a ton of fun! Unfortunately, I go to LA at the worst times...so almost nothing was filming, and I did not see celebrities. Worse than that, I did not see Henry Cavill, make him fall in love with me, and live happily ever after. I just have the worst luck. Actually, we may have seen Miley Cyrus, but we weren't very interested in finding out for sure.
The rest of the day was kind of lazy again, and when we got home from dinner, I was starting to feel kind of crappy. My sister had mentioned going out but then decided she didn't want to, so I was frustrated, and allergies were kicking in. Allergy Face basically makes me feel like I want to cry about everything. Finally I went for a run by myself, wandering around the neighborhoods. Soldier texted me back and told me what they'd done the night before. I told him it didn't matter at that point.
The boys had talked about coming to the gig on Friday night, and my sister was pretty adamant about them showing up. Of course, they didn't. I'm not sure if it was Thursday or Friday, but I finally sent him a text and asked if I was supposed to go to the wedding with him; that the bride had assumed I was. He said he wasn't planning on it, but if I wanted to go he could make "reasonable accommodations." It hurt my feelings and bruised my ego a little bit, and I said it was fine. I also said he might not want to tell people he'd make accommodations, as it sounds rude and unwelcoming. After that I told him he was an idiot, and I think I ruined the friendliness that had been growing.
As sad as I was about not getting to go to the wedding, the next day redeemed it. I was super hungover, but got up in time to go for a ride on a band member's Ducati. We traveled up through the Santa Monica mountains and down to the PCH. We stopped for a drink and a quick look at the beach (believe it or not, it's the first time I've seen surfers in person!)...it ended up being about 100 miles. It was a ton of fun, but my arms ended up being so freaking sore! Oh well, I looked (and felt) like a damn badass.
Saturday was the last gig night, but I wasn't planning on staying long. I still had to pack, and the entire next day would be spent flying. But then...I got there. And had a lot of fun. And made some new friends.
I had actually met one of them the previous night, and he came back out to hang. (He may or may not have been a drug dealer). Another shared a beer with me, but then flitted off to another girl. I started flirting with one of the bartenders (who, fun fact, does BMX stuff), and then there was a 4th who told me how smitten he was (I found out later he has a beautiful girlfriend. Cheater Pants). I exchanged numbers with the maybe drug dealer, the hot bartender/BMX guy, and Cheater Pants. I still chat with them a bit.
So we didn't get back to my sister's house till like 330 in the morning. I remember looking at the clock and thinking, "oh fuck, I have to get up in like 2 hours."
So, I got up about 2 hours later, but flying is not my thing right now. The first flight was delayed for a mechanical issue (despite being a brand-fucking-new plane). I missed my connection, but my mom is a rockstar and rebooked me before I even made it to the ground.
But then that flight was delayed. So, I should have flown into my hometown around 7...I got into an airport an hour away from home at about 2230. I wasn't the happiest girl in the world. However, I made it safely and I got to sleep in my own bed with some good memories.
Well, my friends, that brings me back home. I'm kinda slowly catching up to the present day. But I promise, the best is yet to come ;)
Thursday, July 3, 2014
2200 Miles to LA (Part 2)
California dreamin
I'm really not sure how I got ready in time to go to the gig, let alone look decent. But, somehow, I did. It wasn't a swanky place, but it was fun. I got to see one of the band members I hadn't seen in a long time, and met the other for the first time. Somewhere during the set, they decided I should sing with my sister. I got up and sang backup for her for Lorde's "Royals." Except it was different; they played up the drums and it had a really rock feel. It. Was. Amazing. It's not like anything I've done before; it was empowering and I felt like a badass.
The next day they had another gig, but I was feeling a bit rough. It also didn't help that it was during the day, but we still had fun and I got a lot of dancing in. By the end of the day, though, I was exhausted.
Monday was a lazy day by the pool. We were just hanging out in the evening when I got a text from Soldier. He asked if I wanted to go to Six Flags (or, as I'm told the locals call it, Magic Mountain) the next day. I thought about it for a few minutes, not sure how it would affect my legs. Then I had a moment of "fuck it, why are you even thinking about it?" and told him that it sounded fun. This was also a good opportunity for me...I'd found a stowaway in my bag: his bow tie...I saw this as a good sign. I bought my ticket online and got to bed so I could get enough sleep.
The next morning we were supposed to meet at 9:30 at the bride's house. The boys were running late, so they changed it to 10. So, I got there at 10 and they were still running late. The good news was that the bride was really cool. This was especially nice since I ended up spending about 40 minutes, just the two of us. At one point we were talking about the wedding and she said "You're coming right? As [Soldier's] date?" I had a combination of surprise and elation, but I'm apparently really good at hiding my feelings. I played cool and said that I assumed not; that he hadn't said anything about it. I apologized to her for the way I acted when we first got there to drop C and K off and I told her that it was weird for me. She kind of shrugged it off and told me that she'd originally thought I was Soldier's girlfriend. Good God, how is he so blind to something the entire rest of the universe sees plain as day?! What an idiot. A wonderful, stupid idiot.
The boys eventually got there and we sat around for a few minutes. I pulled out his bow tie and he played around with it; I tightened it to see if it would fit. It did and I told him I'd considered putting it on and sending him some pictures. It was just a silly, fun thing.
The park was a ton of fun. The coasters were insane, and Soldier was flirty again. The guys asked if my sister could get them some...candy...so that was the mission after the park. Well, after a quick stop to get supplies for beer pong. We went back to my sister's and hung out for a bit and had some candy. Then we went back to the bride's to play some beer pong. I did horribly, but Soldier didn't seem to mind. Really, there were a couple of times where I had to consciously stop and remind myself that we weren't together. We also chatted with the father of the bride for a while; he was really nice. When they dropped me off, I had been sitting in the back seat and there was kind of a lot going on...so I just left. I barely said goodbye.
My sister and her friend were still up when I got home, so I hung out with them. I finally went to bed at like 3:30 in the morning, not really sure how to feel about the whole day.
Stay tuned for what happens next!
I'm really not sure how I got ready in time to go to the gig, let alone look decent. But, somehow, I did. It wasn't a swanky place, but it was fun. I got to see one of the band members I hadn't seen in a long time, and met the other for the first time. Somewhere during the set, they decided I should sing with my sister. I got up and sang backup for her for Lorde's "Royals." Except it was different; they played up the drums and it had a really rock feel. It. Was. Amazing. It's not like anything I've done before; it was empowering and I felt like a badass.
The next day they had another gig, but I was feeling a bit rough. It also didn't help that it was during the day, but we still had fun and I got a lot of dancing in. By the end of the day, though, I was exhausted.
Monday was a lazy day by the pool. We were just hanging out in the evening when I got a text from Soldier. He asked if I wanted to go to Six Flags (or, as I'm told the locals call it, Magic Mountain) the next day. I thought about it for a few minutes, not sure how it would affect my legs. Then I had a moment of "fuck it, why are you even thinking about it?" and told him that it sounded fun. This was also a good opportunity for me...I'd found a stowaway in my bag: his bow tie...I saw this as a good sign. I bought my ticket online and got to bed so I could get enough sleep.
The next morning we were supposed to meet at 9:30 at the bride's house. The boys were running late, so they changed it to 10. So, I got there at 10 and they were still running late. The good news was that the bride was really cool. This was especially nice since I ended up spending about 40 minutes, just the two of us. At one point we were talking about the wedding and she said "You're coming right? As [Soldier's] date?" I had a combination of surprise and elation, but I'm apparently really good at hiding my feelings. I played cool and said that I assumed not; that he hadn't said anything about it. I apologized to her for the way I acted when we first got there to drop C and K off and I told her that it was weird for me. She kind of shrugged it off and told me that she'd originally thought I was Soldier's girlfriend. Good God, how is he so blind to something the entire rest of the universe sees plain as day?! What an idiot. A wonderful, stupid idiot.
The boys eventually got there and we sat around for a few minutes. I pulled out his bow tie and he played around with it; I tightened it to see if it would fit. It did and I told him I'd considered putting it on and sending him some pictures. It was just a silly, fun thing.
The park was a ton of fun. The coasters were insane, and Soldier was flirty again. The guys asked if my sister could get them some...candy...so that was the mission after the park. Well, after a quick stop to get supplies for beer pong. We went back to my sister's and hung out for a bit and had some candy. Then we went back to the bride's to play some beer pong. I did horribly, but Soldier didn't seem to mind. Really, there were a couple of times where I had to consciously stop and remind myself that we weren't together. We also chatted with the father of the bride for a while; he was really nice. When they dropped me off, I had been sitting in the back seat and there was kind of a lot going on...so I just left. I barely said goodbye.
My sister and her friend were still up when I got home, so I hung out with them. I finally went to bed at like 3:30 in the morning, not really sure how to feel about the whole day.
Stay tuned for what happens next!
Sunday, June 29, 2014
2200 Miles to LA (Part 1)
3 days, 4 people, 10 states
Shit. I don't think I've ever reached this level of exhaustion. I know I exaggerate a lot, but this is not one of those times.
Alright, I'll rewind a couple of weeks. On the 12th, I was all set to go when Soldier came to pick me up. He came late in the evening and we stopped to get gas; he picked up some beverages for me. I only made it a couple of hours before I fell asleep, but it was great; we did some not-entirely-responsible things (read that however you want, I'm not elaborating). Of course, being me, I woke up in the middle of the night. I felt so sick, and told him that he needed to pull over because I was going to throw up. Soldier was really sweet about it; he stopped somewhere and rubbed my back while I just tried to breathe. It passed and I didn't get sick, and eventually I got back to sleep.
Our first real stop was Kansas City; I woke up just before we got there in the morning. We stopped to pick up C, the first friend. We were there for a few hours to rest and I had joked with Soldier about cuddling while he tried to sleep, which he said he was fine with. That threw me off a bit and I didn't try it.
Driving through the plains and desert got really boring, really quickly. We took turns stretching out in the backseat to sleep, and somehow entertained ourselves otherwise. C was fun, and we kept seeing and talking about things that threw us into laughing fits. We were coming up on the Rockies at sunset, which made for some cool pictures.
I remember waking up at like 2 in the morning while Soldier was driving and I was in the passenger seat. We were driving through the mountains and the moon was just under full (it was full the night before)...we sat and talked for a few minutes about how pretty the mountains were with the glow.
Next stop was Vegas; it was another early morning arrival. We went to gamble a little bit before we had to pick up K from the airport. I lost a little bit playing the slots and called it good...it's only fun if you're winning! C went off to play Blackjack and Soldier and I went to the car for him to take a little nap. Just as we got there, C called that we needed to go get K. Another nice guy. We went back to the casino afterwards. They all played craps and I watched, then C and K went off to play blackjack. I stayed with Soldier and after a while he made me roll a round. He tried to explain it to me, but I still had absolutely no idea what was going on, and my round didn't last too long.
When we'd lost enough, Soldier wanted to go back to the car and sleep. Since I didn't know the other guys well, and didn't want to just sit there watching them, I said I'd join him. Then he suggested we could grab a drink instead (like I was gonna turn that down). We went to another casino, he asked what I wanted to drink, and ordered the same. He paid, we sat and chatted for a while, he grabbed me a matchbook as a memento. I really enjoyed it. We took a quick selfie on the Strip, then went to get a bottle of Fireball for the rest of the trip.
We went back to check on the other guys and walked back to the car just ahead of them. As we were walking along, a few couples passed us looking cozy. Soldier made an interesting comment about the heat--that it was so hot you couldn't even hold hands. I didn't know what to say, so I said something about how I like the heat. I kind of wish I'd been clever and said that it sounded like a challenge.
Roughly four more hours in the desert brought us to LA. We still had fun, but we were all ready to be done in the car by then. C and K had some groomsman duties to take care of, so they wanted to be dropped off first. Soldier said he'd bring me to my sister's after; as we got farther away from my part of LA, I got more and more nervous about the situation. We were an hour away from where I needed to be. My sister offered to come pick me up, but Soldier kept insisting he'd bring me. I know I was rude when we got to the groom's parents house, I pretty much just stayed in the car...I really didn't know how to handle the situation or what to say. So just trying to stay hidden seemed like the best idea. It probably wasn't. Meh.
Soldier drove and I navigated the hour drive to my sister's. My slightly biased opinion is that we made a pretty damn good team. We made it there unscathed and my sister invited him to stay for a beer and dinner, which he accepted (much to my pleasure). She also offered him a bed since they didn't really know where they'd be sleeping, but he declined that one (damn).
I kept checking the clock since I only had about an hour before we had to leave for my sister and brother-in-law's gig, but I also didn't care. It was great to just be hanging out with Soldier again. He decided it was time to leave and I walked him to the door; he gave me kind of an awkward half-hug. I told him to let me know if they decided they wanted to come swim or hang out, and he said, "You too!" Luckily I did have a witty reply this time: "You want me to tell you if you guys want to come hang out?" He clarified to let him know if I was bored and needed something to do. I was a little surprised, and I didn't really plan on doing it, but I was quite happy he offered. Still, I was sad to see him go.
The past 2 weeks have been insane and I'm still trying to put my life back to normal, so you get the story in installments. Stay tuned for the next one!
Shit. I don't think I've ever reached this level of exhaustion. I know I exaggerate a lot, but this is not one of those times.
Alright, I'll rewind a couple of weeks. On the 12th, I was all set to go when Soldier came to pick me up. He came late in the evening and we stopped to get gas; he picked up some beverages for me. I only made it a couple of hours before I fell asleep, but it was great; we did some not-entirely-responsible things (read that however you want, I'm not elaborating). Of course, being me, I woke up in the middle of the night. I felt so sick, and told him that he needed to pull over because I was going to throw up. Soldier was really sweet about it; he stopped somewhere and rubbed my back while I just tried to breathe. It passed and I didn't get sick, and eventually I got back to sleep.
Our first real stop was Kansas City; I woke up just before we got there in the morning. We stopped to pick up C, the first friend. We were there for a few hours to rest and I had joked with Soldier about cuddling while he tried to sleep, which he said he was fine with. That threw me off a bit and I didn't try it.
Driving through the plains and desert got really boring, really quickly. We took turns stretching out in the backseat to sleep, and somehow entertained ourselves otherwise. C was fun, and we kept seeing and talking about things that threw us into laughing fits. We were coming up on the Rockies at sunset, which made for some cool pictures.
I remember waking up at like 2 in the morning while Soldier was driving and I was in the passenger seat. We were driving through the mountains and the moon was just under full (it was full the night before)...we sat and talked for a few minutes about how pretty the mountains were with the glow.
Next stop was Vegas; it was another early morning arrival. We went to gamble a little bit before we had to pick up K from the airport. I lost a little bit playing the slots and called it good...it's only fun if you're winning! C went off to play Blackjack and Soldier and I went to the car for him to take a little nap. Just as we got there, C called that we needed to go get K. Another nice guy. We went back to the casino afterwards. They all played craps and I watched, then C and K went off to play blackjack. I stayed with Soldier and after a while he made me roll a round. He tried to explain it to me, but I still had absolutely no idea what was going on, and my round didn't last too long.
When we'd lost enough, Soldier wanted to go back to the car and sleep. Since I didn't know the other guys well, and didn't want to just sit there watching them, I said I'd join him. Then he suggested we could grab a drink instead (like I was gonna turn that down). We went to another casino, he asked what I wanted to drink, and ordered the same. He paid, we sat and chatted for a while, he grabbed me a matchbook as a memento. I really enjoyed it. We took a quick selfie on the Strip, then went to get a bottle of Fireball for the rest of the trip.
We went back to check on the other guys and walked back to the car just ahead of them. As we were walking along, a few couples passed us looking cozy. Soldier made an interesting comment about the heat--that it was so hot you couldn't even hold hands. I didn't know what to say, so I said something about how I like the heat. I kind of wish I'd been clever and said that it sounded like a challenge.
Roughly four more hours in the desert brought us to LA. We still had fun, but we were all ready to be done in the car by then. C and K had some groomsman duties to take care of, so they wanted to be dropped off first. Soldier said he'd bring me to my sister's after; as we got farther away from my part of LA, I got more and more nervous about the situation. We were an hour away from where I needed to be. My sister offered to come pick me up, but Soldier kept insisting he'd bring me. I know I was rude when we got to the groom's parents house, I pretty much just stayed in the car...I really didn't know how to handle the situation or what to say. So just trying to stay hidden seemed like the best idea. It probably wasn't. Meh.
Soldier drove and I navigated the hour drive to my sister's. My slightly biased opinion is that we made a pretty damn good team. We made it there unscathed and my sister invited him to stay for a beer and dinner, which he accepted (much to my pleasure). She also offered him a bed since they didn't really know where they'd be sleeping, but he declined that one (damn).
I kept checking the clock since I only had about an hour before we had to leave for my sister and brother-in-law's gig, but I also didn't care. It was great to just be hanging out with Soldier again. He decided it was time to leave and I walked him to the door; he gave me kind of an awkward half-hug. I told him to let me know if they decided they wanted to come swim or hang out, and he said, "You too!" Luckily I did have a witty reply this time: "You want me to tell you if you guys want to come hang out?" He clarified to let him know if I was bored and needed something to do. I was a little surprised, and I didn't really plan on doing it, but I was quite happy he offered. Still, I was sad to see him go.
The past 2 weeks have been insane and I'm still trying to put my life back to normal, so you get the story in installments. Stay tuned for the next one!
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Fantasy Land
Right next door to Crazy Town.
My brief and plain response to the guy from church wasn't good enough for him. He felt the need to elaborate, and told me that the purpose of meeting was because he wanted to reconcile and make peace with me. It got yet another eye roll because, let's be honest, I don't give a flying fuck about his life or what he wants. (Not very Christian, I know, but the dude's off his rocker.) As I read farther, my mood took a curious change from annoyed to...kind of hopeless. The next few lines: "Nothing happens in a vacuum: mea culpa - culpa tuam (the situation is my fault but your fault too)."
I almost started crying out of a kind of despair. What's so messed up in his head that this seems to be okay? And I had no idea what I could possibly do to stop the derangement. This was honestly getting a bit frightening, so I tried to think about it logically, in the case that I may need to bring it to a legal point eventually. If it should come to that, though, I was missing the important piece of explicitly telling him to stay away. Adding to that, my passiveness had worn out. I hate being mean to people (believe it or not) and I'd rather just hide from the situation, but everyone has a breaking point.
My reply left absolutely no room for interpretation: "There is nothing to reconcile or move on from, and I have in no way encouraged your behavior. Do not contact me again." There it was. I triumphantly slammed that door, locked it from the outside, and threw a bomb at it. But the bomb fizzled out, and the next day I got another email. Let's play that fun game where I give you the message verbatim, interspersed with my hilarious and witty remarks!
My brief and plain response to the guy from church wasn't good enough for him. He felt the need to elaborate, and told me that the purpose of meeting was because he wanted to reconcile and make peace with me. It got yet another eye roll because, let's be honest, I don't give a flying fuck about his life or what he wants. (Not very Christian, I know, but the dude's off his rocker.) As I read farther, my mood took a curious change from annoyed to...kind of hopeless. The next few lines: "Nothing happens in a vacuum: mea culpa - culpa tuam (the situation is my fault but your fault too)."
I almost started crying out of a kind of despair. What's so messed up in his head that this seems to be okay? And I had no idea what I could possibly do to stop the derangement. This was honestly getting a bit frightening, so I tried to think about it logically, in the case that I may need to bring it to a legal point eventually. If it should come to that, though, I was missing the important piece of explicitly telling him to stay away. Adding to that, my passiveness had worn out. I hate being mean to people (believe it or not) and I'd rather just hide from the situation, but everyone has a breaking point.
My reply left absolutely no room for interpretation: "There is nothing to reconcile or move on from, and I have in no way encouraged your behavior. Do not contact me again." There it was. I triumphantly slammed that door, locked it from the outside, and threw a bomb at it. But the bomb fizzled out, and the next day I got another email. Let's play that fun game where I give you the message verbatim, interspersed with my hilarious and witty remarks!
I will honor your wishes for no contact (after this e-mail). Gee. How very generous.
Since we will not meet, allow me to talk via e-mail instead.
Please accept my apology for initiating contact (circa late February) uh, thanks for the reminder, but I fucking know when it was and for all the problems that may have caused. I do not think I said bad things in my e-mail. Because hitting on a random girl despite having a wife and kid is no big thing. If anything I was too honest. WHY do men keeping saying that shit to me?! There's a difference between honesty and crazy. However, I crossed a line that should not have been crossed, and it has caused pain. Forgive me. So much nope! I apologize.
Since that time I have worked to set things right. Specifically: I have not contacted you over the last 3 months. Wise choice. I took a couple of 3 week periods away and attended mass elsewhere. I confessed (don't worry - not to Father [at our church]). I really wish he had, so my priest would know about this creeper. I used the opportunity to focus on self-improvement. At one point, I decided that I would not look at you (at all), until I felt I could do so with a proper frame of mind. Um, gross. Keep that shit to yourself. Good news: I think I am there.
So why would I contact you now after all this time? Well, when you left the choir abruptly Sunday, it made me think I was not finished cleaning up my mess. For goodness sake what a ludicrous crazy person! The reason I had left church early was to go kayaking. Why does this asshole think he has any bearing on my thoughts or feelings? I know I have hurt you. I realize that "reconcile" was not the best word choice, but I thought it would be best to meet in a public location, talk, and apologize in person. Even more nope. My hope was to establish enough good will and rapport to at least be able to say "Hi" in public instead of a silent stare. There are few things that I want less than to talk to this guy. I also don't evoke a "silent stare"...I opt for more of "avoid at all costs."
My point about the "culpa" stuff: You hurt me too WHAT?! (but don't worry, I already forgave you. I decided that would be easier than trying to get agreement with you on what happened:). Oh, go fuck yourself. You forgave me for what? For existing? For not appreciating your weirdo pervyness?
So there you go. No meeting required. No need to be mad or upset. No more contact. It's about damn time!
You're a good person Laura. God must have big plans for you - to have you experience problems like me :) That...that does not make...a single ounce of sense. Why would this outrageous situation mean that God has big plans for me? Oh, oh that's right, it's because you are a nutjob.
I kind of wanted to reply and tell him what an idiot I think he is, but I restrained myself. So, *hopefully* this is the end of the saga with the crazy man from church. I think we're all okay with closing this chapter.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)