Dabbling in Bitchery

How to make friends and influence people.

I'll readily admit I've been on edge the past few days. Like, toes hanging over-looking into the abyss-if butterfly goes past I might fall off, on the edge.
Soldier is officially back...he may have actually driven past me while I was jogging this evening. Anyway I probably don't need to point out that this is difficult for me with all the conflicting feelings. I spent months with him so far away, waiting for him to be close, and then he was gone so quickly. Now he's physically so close, about a mile and a half away, but it makes no difference. And that's really hard. My head says be logical and know that he's not coming back; my heart says that he absolutely has to. It says that there's no other answer; that's just the way it's supposed to be. Anyway, back to the fun.
I've been on edge, but one thing I absolutely cannot stand is stupidity. So, I may admit that I can be a bitch, but I swear I was provoked!

Every Wednesday, a group of coworkers enjoy a Happy Hour after work. We started this a little over a month ago and have gone to the same place so far, but yesterday we chose somewhere different. It was a restaurant that I like; it's a little on the fancier side. Well, myself and one other coworker arrived first. This restaurant has an outside seating area, and I asked the hostess if she only did the outside seating, or if she did inside as well. She said both, and I told her that we'd have 6 people. She then said that they only had high top seating inside, and started at me blankly. Oops, this needs some background. I'm always cold. AL-WAYS. And there's been something wrong with our air conditioning...to the point where everyone else has also been cold, so I've been freezing. Sitting outside meant being on the windy lake on a day that wasn't exactly summer-like. I really didn't want to sit outside, so we went back and forth a bit. I said that I wasn't sure what she meant when she said there were only high tops...so she described was it was. "Well, it's a little higher than a table..." I stopped her, wanting to say that I wasn't a f*cking idiot. I told her (I tried to be calm, but I know I was snippy) that I knew what it was but didn't know what she meant...i.e. was there not enough room or something? Some others had arrived by then so we sat outside for a few minutes, then they agreed to what I knew, that it was cold and unpleasant, and we went inside. It took me a while to stop being annoyed with her insinuation about my intelligence. We did have a really good waitress though, and the drinks were even better, so they made up for the moronic hostess.

Let's fast forward to Facebook. Aaah, the Facebook: where the idiots thrive. Today a friend asked on her status where to find good macaroni and cheese. Wanting to be helpful, I have a valid suggestion. The next comment was along the lines of "I'd say go to Noodly, but they're not here anymore :(" Yes, sad face. Sad face to your worthlessness. Because she asked for legitimate suggestions, not for impossible pipe dreams. I have such an issue with that.

As I previously stated, something's up with the AC at work, and it's on hyper drive. Today I posted as my status that I had on a blanket, a jacket, and a Snuggie, so there was clearly something wrong. An acquaintance, Asshole Incarnate, commented that I should go outside. He's unemployed, with no thought or desire to look for or acquire employment, so I commented, "I have this weird thing called a job..." So he told me I should open a window. Yeah, because large office buildings have windows that you can open. I replied with something similar to that. His next suggestion was that I didn't have enough clothes on (maybe I'm a hooker?) or that I needed to eat, because he gets cold when he needs to eat. I was getting increasingly irritated. I have a feeling in general that, when his existence is brought to my attention, I want to hurt myself or others. So the insistence was grating. I could only come up with two words "Just stop." Well then he let me know that if I didn't want suggestions then I shouldn't post it on Facebook, and he was only trying to be helpful. You know what's helpful? Paying taxes. Being a contributing member of society. Not giving unsolicited advice or being a pretentious, self-absorbed douchebag. The reasons for his title of Asshole Incarnate are many, and I'll explain them in another post.

For now, my ire is giving way and giving in to exhausted melancholy. This is a common nightly thing. If you're the praying type, say some prayers for the Soldier-ity to return.