The Bucket List

It's time to LIVE. 

Okay, I know that having a bucket list isn't anything monumental. Probably everyone jumped on the bandwagon after the movie. (If you haven't seen it, you need to. It's actually a very touching film.) Being me, I actually wrote out a Bucket List, made it pretty, framed it, and put it on my wall. All of that was in hopes that I'd actually do these things. Also being me, that didn't work. That ends now

Could you hear the dramatic music?! It was there...at least in my head.It should have been in your head as well. I'm judging you if it wasn't. 

Most of the things I have on my bucket list are designed to push my limits. I've spent a lot of time getting to know myself and all of that (don't be a perv) and I know my comfort zone. Apparently "life begins at the end of your comfort zone," so...fuck it. Begin. 
I'll be going to Chicago for Labor Day weekend. On the way, I'll be making a stop in Michigan City to go skydiving. To some people that sounds fine. To me, that's outside of my comfort zone. I'm gonna jump out of a freaking plane! I used to have a healthy fear of heights, then I kind of got over it, now I'm crossing this one off the bucket list. Besides...I'll be floating through the sky over Lake Michigan and the Windy City. That's guaranteed to be speechlessly gorgeous. After this possibly life changing (for good or bad) experience, it's on to Chi. Catching a show at Second City, enjoying the aquatics at Shedd Aquarium, and some learning at the Museum of Science and Industry if we can fit it in. (That's what she said.) I will be completely exhausted and likely bitchy after all the entertainment and social interaction, but I'm willing to deal. 

I'm going on this adventure with Wolverine. He's technically an ex boyfriend...but we went to high school together and were friends long before dating meddled things. It's a little bit tricky, but could be way worse. Joining us will be his cousin. It'll be a miracle if we don't all kill each other before the weekend's over...but if we all make it out unscathed, it should be an awesome time!

The weekend before the Chicago adventure, I'm doing a Mud Run. Ugh. I'm so not ready; completely dreading the thing. I actually am hoping I'll get an injury. The stupid thing is that I knew when I signed up that I wouldn't want to do it. But, when I signed up, I didn't know I'd be so emotionally scarred and crippled (relax, that'll be the only melodramatic part of this post. I hope.) Then the weekend before that (this weekend) I'm going tubing. The group is technically a part of Soldier's friends, but they invited me so I feel it's fair game. Truthfully, it makes me really sad, because I know I won't get to hang out with them much once he comes back. That asshole really ruined everything. 

So. Why all this push to get out and do stuff? This is not something I'd care to admit, but I love my blogees (is that right? I'm the blogger and you're the blogees? or should it be another g...bloggees...I like that better. You're now my bloggees...bow to me and love me and I shall reward you with entertaining literature! Umm..not sure I can call this literature. Oh well. That just happened.) 
Alright. So if you've seen Twighlight (yeeees, don't judge me), you know the big breakdown. When Edward leaves Bella, she can't handle it. She turns into an emotionless recluse (a role Kristin Stewart can actually play), then starts to put herself in harm's way because she hallucinates about him. Well, it's not quite that crazy, but probably close. I still live my life and do my job and see my friends and fulfill my obligations...and seem to be fine. But, in truth, I have to train myself to take deep breaths throughout the day when it starts to get hard, I drink a lot when I get home, and I cry myself to sleep a lot. (Oops, sorry, more melodrama.) Everything is just a little wrong, and a little off without Soldier. You know, the -ity. So, I've resorted to trying to be bold and crazy and do things I wouldn't normally do. It's kind of like trying to use tissues to stop the bleeding from a shotgun wound...but I've gotta try something. 
Feel free, and encouraged, to concentrate your prayers and thoughts to Soldier coming back to me. (Is that a little whore-ish?) I know that's pithy and silly, but the void is getting bigger and bigger and I don't know what else to do for it. 

Welp, all of my adventures might turn out disastrously. It doesn't matter; at least I'll have had some adventures. And that's what life's all about, right? You've gotta make the most of it while you have it. So onward, upward, and..well really...downward. Cuz I'm jumping out of a freaking plane, bitches!