I think I might try to start every post with a tagline or subtitle. I like that. Until it gets hard to write one...then...no me gusta. (And that's the extent of my Spanish! Well, that and a few curse words. They come in handy.)
Alright. I had date number two with Allen. Which is odd to say, because this one was secured before the first one. Anyway, it was a concert at a local festival. The day before, he'd asked me if I wanted to meet up before the concert. I'll take part responsibility for the misunderstanding that ensued, as I hadn't been given any information and assumed the concert started at 9 (which, it turned out, the main band did). So, I agreed and told him that I just had a lunch date and should be finished by 2.
Well, the morning of the date I got bombarded with people wanting things, and since I didn't think the concert started till later, I didn't worry about texting right away. I also didn't really want to be tied to the whole day...I'm kind of (HA, kind of...more like ridiculously) introverted, so I really need time by myself. Like, to the point where I could spend all weekend without leaving the house and be completely fine with it. Slight sidetrack...get used to that.
Just before 2, I got a text asking me about not having texted. I replied that some things had come up and that, since we didn't have any specific plans, I didn't know it was a huge deal. He said it was fine if something came up, but he was sitting around waiting to hear from me. I partly felt guilty, and partly was annoyed that he was just sitting around waiting. The last line of the text was "I thought you wanted to meet before the concert?" To which I replied "Well what are you thinking?" He then said that I was obviously too busy and that they were all meeting at 6:30 so he'd just see me there. I have a slight temper, so I was instantly pissed. I brought up the fact that we didn't have set plans, thought the concert started at 9, and wasn't told about anything otherwise. It kept coming back to me having said I was supposed to text and didn't. I was also annoyed because, since I apparently didn't text at the right time, it was off the table. Half of me wanted to roll my eyes and get over it, but my mom had been giving me crap lately...she tells me that the instant a guy is nice and actually likes me, I start running. Might not be incredibly untrue. So, I decided to try and calm down and take the high road; I asked what he would like to do. We met up at the concert, and it was pretty awkward for a while. ...A long while. Eventually, things seemed to be okay, and I ended up giving him a ride back to his parent's place (he lives a few hours away; that part's important).
I stopped the car and told him I had a good time, and he had this weird look on his face. I asked if he was okay...and then it began again. He apologized for the misunderstanding, and kept bringing up the fact that I didn't text at the right time. I got increasingly frustrated and had to restrain myself; I kept going back to "I'm very sorry, but I can't go back and change it now." But it kept going. Apparently this was an issue he'd had with his last girlfriend. (Whoa there, slow your roll.) It seems she would make plans and then not show up; she'd even missed an anniversary. He kept apologizing though...he wasn't trying to control me or anything. He's just overly sensitive to this. Let me take a step back and say that I'm the first to admit I've got issues, a lot of them, and I acknowledge it. But it was like beating a dead horse. However, I'm also a smart person, so I took a deep breath and calmed. I told him that I did understand where he was coming from, that I was sorry for the misunderstanding, and that all I could do was keep that in mind. This bettered the situation...in a way. Allen had kept saying that he didn't owe me anything; that we weren't dating or anything. Sorry, that's backtracking a bit. Whatevsies. Well, after I changed my tactic, so did he. He asked how I feel about him, because he really likes me a lot. After two dates. I told him that we hadn't spend enough time together for me to really know. That was only partly true; I already know my feelings. I know that, as stupid as I am, I still feel like a part of me is gallivanting around the country right now. And I guess it is. I think that when you go through a heartbreak, there should be a physical showing of it, so everyone knows you're not okay. Sorry, sidetrack again. Well, that part resolved itself for the time being and I got home.
The next day, really trying to be open-minded, I went to his parent's to see him. They were wonderful, and I had a really nice time. After a while, though, I was ready to go home and be by myself. There's something wrong with me.
Alright, now let's look at all the red flags, umm, obviously flagged in red.
- Bringing up the ex. Never, ever, EVER a good thing to do at the start. You know they exist, but they don't need to be a part of the "getting to know you" process. Also, not being able to carry your own baggage. Again, not a good beginning.
- I feel like, if you have to say something like that, it's just the opposite. Kind of when someone says "I'm not trying to be offensive" you just know they're about to be a douche.
- I can't pinpoint what it is about this phrase. "You don't owe me anything" just has a cringe-worthy factor to it for me. If anyone can explain that to me, please do.
- This last one is just something that shouldn't be spoken. At this point in the...what, courting process?...you don't ask things like that. You're getting to know each other and feeling things out and, whatthefuck that is just too soon. In his defense, too soon only because I'm an idiot and wrapped up in my own ridiculous misery.
Maybe my mum's right, I really do just have an issue with someone who actually cares and likes me. At any rate (drink!) I'm still trying to talk to him and get through my own thick skull. You'll be the first to know if that works.
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