Scotch

Because romance can be just as intoxicating

Now that I've gotten my cheesy tagline out of the way, let me start by saying that I'm ridiculously stupid. Wait, no, maybe not. They do say that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Nope, just kidding, that's absolutely not it...I really am just stupid. But you can't help who you love, right? Right?

Okay, rewind a few weeks. I went out for a friend's birthday, and I didn't know half of the group. That's how I met Allen, a quite attractive transplant from Europe. He lives a few hours away, so we exchanged numbers and text almost every day. He'd invited me to a concert, which happens to be this weekend. He came into town a little early, so we hung out yesterday, even though I had to force myself.

We went to the beach, to a semi-secluded place he knew about. It was great--quiet, peaceful, and absolutely gorgeous. We talked and laughed, and it was a pretty good time. I also noticed that he kept sliding closer to me. It wasn't super surprising when he kissed me, but I'm a sucker for a kiss where they cradle the back of your neck. Also, the scene...it was kind of like a movie. So there was some kissing, kept PG-13, and then more chatting. It was a little different though...cozier, closer, and more cuddly.

After a little bit, Allen got up to use the bathroom. I didn't mind; I closed my eyes and tilted my head back for a few minutes and just enjoyed the locale. Next thing I knew, Allen was back and had snuck up behind me. He lightly slid his hands on my upper arms and kissed my neck. WOW. Well, expectantly wow. I won't say that it wasn't nice. Unfortunately (and this is where I'm stupid), I kept thinking about my Soldier. Except he's not my soldier and that's why we're back to this point. Anyway that foreplay went on for a couple of minutes and then we went back to chatting, with him holding me very close. Anybody can relate to the satisfaction and peace it comes with feeling that you're valued and needed. We left not too far after...I'm not a superfan of PDA and Allen tried to make it a little too romantic for me. Also, having a guy with a non-American accent lavish you with compliments about your beauty definitely doesn't suck. Again, I'm an idiot.

So we left, and it seemed to be reluctant on his part. I'm much less social than I come across so I was just ready to go home and sleep. All I could think about was the Soldier, and I was compelled to have a road soda on the way home (if you don't know what that is, don't ask). I'm seeing him again tomorrow, and I'm not nearly as excited as I probably should be.

Ah well...it doesn't seem as if Soldier will be out of my head anytime soon. His friends and family all think he's stupid. He's "letting himself go" (a nice way of saying he's getting fat), and acting like a child. But to me he's still incredible...attractive, confident, strong, intelligent, and brave. To me he was a wonderful balance to my personality.

C'est la vie. But mostly, such is MY life. I know, I know, boo-hoo to me. But it feels sad and lonely, and missing the guy that fit.
As was the norm, I'll keep you updated on how that goes for me.